I stumbled on this quote early this morning. My friend and writer Susan posted it to her Facebook page and it prompted some inner reflection. My writing pulses with these themes and this chorus often plays in the background, but the practice is often so much harder. Loving well. Living gently. Letting go.
Loving well. It is easy to love the life that is made of fairy tales. What’s not to love? But often most of our lives are anything but the fairy tale. We struggle with loving ourselves and others. Disappointments litter our lives and that is when we are presented with this conflict: How do we love well when it isn’t easy to do so? When there is a fissure in our relationships, how do we try to love? It is not easy and we all must navigate this terrain with caution, but with bold honestly. I’ve learned that in order to love well, you must be genuine with your own feelings. That requires vulnerability and everyday I am learning in order to deepen my connection with those I love, I must do my best to be authentic with my feelings. That might mean saying things that aren’t exactly fun to hear, for me or for the person witnessing it, but, quite honestly, the fairy tale falling apart is sometimes the best thing that can happen to you and for your relationships.
Living gently. I am still struggling to figure out what that means to me. In my twenties, I lived anything but a gentle life. Stress determined how my days unfolded. There were moments when I was much to hard on myself and most of it centered on one key theme, “not being good enough.” Living gently, I am learning, has to do with accepting what is, rather than what isn’t. This is difficult for me. There are still days I complain about how I am not where I want to be or a situation is not where it should be. Living gently requires a practice of patience. Patience with yourself, others, and the circumstances that may arrive in a second, without notice. I still gravitate toward panic when faced with uncertainty and that conflicts against trying to live a gentle life. It is a tiny, but powerful revolution when you learn that chaos can and will happen, but maybe after navigating this circle many times, I will learn that calm must replace panic as my default.
Letting go. This is the most difficult lesson. Much of my life seems to be about holding on. I am chained to what I know and often dread the uncertainty that comes from not knowing. Letting go of what I envisioned is perhaps the hardest part of living my life. I am a serial, compulsive planner. Writing down to-do lists and sticking to a routine offers a semblance of control in my life, but in the last 10 years, many of those items go unchecked because something unexpected happened. It is perhaps the biggest cliché, but one of the truest that “Life happens while you are busy making other plans.” And with tears in my eyes, I need these words to seep into me and run through my veins. Some things are not meant to be. The grief comes in the fall of expectations. Learning to let go, with grace, may never be a part of my fabric. But I keep working at it. Because it is this lesson I think I am meant to learn in order to love well and live gently.
Amazing post! Makes me think. I’m glad I found you on Sits Girls!
Stopping by from SITS Sharefest!
I absolutely loved this post…it really got me thinking. What is truly important? What are the essentials? In the end, what is really going to matter? I feel like I have a lot of things to ‘reevaluate’ after reading this post. I’ve been taking life FAR too seriously and not taking advantage of the things I have to appreciate.
I’m so glad I stumbled across this post. Like I’ve said, you’ve really got me thinking & gave me quite the paradigm shift.
I love that quote! It should be easy to do all those things but it’s not! I find letting go to be hard – letting go of my fears, insecurities, disappointments, sadness, etc because they are what hold me back from fully living and loving! Stopping by from SITS!
From my perspective, you are doing well on all of these! Loving well, living gently, and learning to let go…
I guess when the fairy tales fall apart our subsequent actions tell how deeply we are loving in that very situation.
Life is a journey of lessons. The good thing is no matter how much we struggle with them in the end we will each know what we are meant to have known or experienced.
This is a beautiful piece of heartfelt writing, Rudri. Love the quote.
This post was very genuine and well put! #SITSsharefest
Lovely, thoughtful post. Many of us struggle with these issues, but to have the time to grapple with them, in and of itself, is a privilege we should not take for granted.
Living gently – this is one I’m working on. With myself. Lately, I’ve been anything but gentle with myself – and I’m turning that around. Great reminders of important side of life.
One of your absolutely best posts written…and I second Kerry, you are a teacher and student one and inspire all who read your poetic words! Write on Rudri!