Every set of eyes were looking at her. Even my own. Her blue sari sparkled and the hints of copper beads glistened in the light. The stage swallowed her, but my mother was not discouraged. She surprised me. Without hesitation, she delivered an emotional speech to over two hundred fifty guests at my sister’s wedding reception.
This was an unusual feat for my mom. For the first time in her life, she chose to speak publicly to a very large group of people. She talked about how she was so happy for my sister and her new husband, but also felt slivers of sadness in her heart. In her quiet voice, she announced how much she missed her own husband of forty-eight years and how she wished he was here to witness their daughter’s wedding. I looked at my mom and in that second. I expected tears to stream down her face. But instead her eyes were steady and her voice failed to waiver. An enormous amount of pride and gratitude swelled inside of me. That was my mom. Courageous with quiet deliberation, she offered her heart to my sister and found her voice.
At the end, she received a standing ovation. There were several people in the crowd, crying for her, but also jubilant that she spoke not only for herself, but for my father as well. I believe that in that instant, my father’s presence was inside of her, encouraging her to speak. In this space, I’ve talked so much about my relationship with my father, but my mother has always offered her quiet guidance and encouragement. These last few years, there are many times when she’s experienced a loneliness only a widow knows, but she still manages to move forward.
I sometimes forget her strength. On that evening, I was reminded again.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I am happy your mom found her voice and her grace shined to all those attending the wedding. A beautiful tribute to a wonderful mom. So true that she is the only one to know the loneliness without her soulmate . I imagine it is a struggle filled with sadness. Her strength and her love for your father will carry her through. I wish her and all of you well.
Rudri, that was a beautiful acknowledgement of your Mother’s influence and courage. I’m sure she’s as proud of you and your sister as you are of her.
Truer words of Mon couldn’t have been written. Her quiet yet powerful grace that night was an amazing thing to witness. We love you Mom!
This was beautiful, Rudri. I love the idea of her finding her voice at the moment that she can show her love for her family.
What a sweet piece–I hope your mother sees it and realizes what her courage means to you.
What a remarkable model of grace she is.
first and foremost I’d like to also congratulate your family for the wedding of your sister,,
yeah sometimes we can only admire our mothers for their strength hidden and comes out in situations where it needed to be (just like this one) .. as daughters we can only hope we inherit that same strength they possess..
cheers to your mother..!
What a beautiful moment for you to share with us. I hope you share this with her. Congratulations to your family during this happy time!
Wonderful.
What an inspiration your mother is.