December offers the chance to recount and reminisce what has transpired in the string of months in a given year. I love how Instagram allows you to collage your nine “favorite” photographs in one place (if you’re interested in knowing what made your lineup, click here). This visual reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I’ve always believed the day-to-day, the mundane and the ordinary highlights the lasting epiphanies. Sinking into this mosaic of this past year pulled to the surface several lessons that offered a place of reflection.
In no particular order, here is what I learned in 2016:
When the terrain is shaky, gazing at the sky reminds me of what is important. This single act tells me I am alive in this world. What better way to show my gratitude then to pause and smile and pay my respects to the universal.
Pay attention to how acquaintances, friends and family treat strangers, whether it’s the waiter at the restaurant, the homeless person on the street or the clerk at the grocery store. This single observation will tell you more about an individual than years of conversation.
I had the opportunity to attend a talk given by Maya Angelou a few years ago. Every single thing said during that hour resonated with me. Again and again, I learned this lesson in 2016: When people show you who they are, believe them. Even when you want to make excuses, justifications and offer explanations for a behavior, don’t do it. Don’t listen to the words – evaluate the actions.
Solitude is the best salve when the world doesn’t make sense. A morning run, an evening walk, time spent with a book or meditating in silence will give you answers – if you welcome these pursuits. Quiet is a tool. Don’t be afraid of it.
Changing your narrative requires revising your approach. You can’t expect a different result if you keep engaging in the same behavior.
Laughter matters. Even when dealing with deep sadness and pain.
You can’t change your experiences and they shape who you are. Don’t try to explain them away to fit in. Popularity is the emptiest vessel. Resist it at all costs.
Experiences over things. Period.
You only need a few friends. It is impossible and greedy to think that every single person will like you. If you find a couple of people who not only know you, but get you, consider it a gift.
I am shaped by my losses. Some may dub that melancholy or sadness, but it lends to the opportunity of a well-lived life.
What were some of your lessons in 2016?
This – When people show you who they are, believe them. Even when you want to make excuses, justifications and offer explanations for a behavior, don’t do it. Don’t listen to the words – evaluate the actions.
It just resounds with me. I so often make excuses and I need to change that.
I just love your writing. Keep it up!
Thanks, Kate. I think we are all guilty of making excuses and ignoring red flags. It is a part of the learning experience, I guess.
I appreciate your support and look forward to connecting with you in 2017. xo
There is a lot of wisdom here. Thank you for sharing! I love the Maya Angelou stuff…. not sure that has ever felt truer than right now.
Thanks, Sarah. Yes, Maya Angelou’s words always offer perspective. Have a happy holiday season.
You certainly learned a lot this year (and I think we all did in one way or another from the election, didn’t we?…ugh). I wish you similar revelations and beautiful images in 2017, friend. xo
Thanks, Kristen. Yes, 2016 provided ample opportunity for learning various lessons. I look forward to intersecting with you in 2017. xo
Thank you for sharing these lessons. They are all good ones. My favorite is that having a few good friends is all you need.
Thanks, Amy. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season.
I agree with so much of this, wonderful life lessons that will be of much value to you for the rest of your life.
Thanks, Susan. I do think some of the themes/lessons I mentioned will hold weight in the future too.
Really learning about experiences over things. It makes the holiday season so much better!
Also, that really resonated. I’ve always felt shaped by my earliest loss. I think it sucks and I never would’ve wanted life to turn out that way, given the choice, but it makes me who I am.
Yes, Tamara, I know you understand the lessons regarding loss. It adds an added dimension to all my interactions.