I loved reading this article by Nick Crocker on Medium titled, Thirty Things I’ve Learned. I urge you to click on the link and check out his insights. Some of his lessons resonated in my marrow and I could not resist writing about those insights that impacted me the most.
His first lesson, “remember you will die,” is important to consider. At first glance it appears morbid to think that way, but I believe living your moments knowing that it could be your last really creates an urgency in how you live. Embracing life with a laissez faire attitude pushes us to put important tasks and people until later. Sometimes later is too late.
Another lesson that resonated with meaning revolved around the idea that “you end up being the average of the people you spend your life with.” Who are the people that keep appearing in your life? Who is your tribe? Are they uplifting or negative? What impact do they have in your life? The people who choose to interact with regularly will impact your life even if you do not consciously realize it. I find that as a I grow older, I gravitate toward narrowing my circle to those people who are interested in helping me become a better person. Even criticism from these native speakers doesn’t carry negative implications because I know they have my best interests at heart.
To distill and understand the heart of any matter, Crocker recommends: “to know what you think, write it down.” I often encourage everyone to write because there is such a strong connection between the mind, hand and what we visualize as we memorialize it on a piece of paper. It works for goals, to-do lists and it often helps me distill my own conflicts to its essence.
The lesson that seems obvious but is easy to ignore is understanding the value of time. So often we say “yes” when we really want to say “no.” We may piddle away time by spending too much time on what doesn’t matter. It takes a conscious effort to check in and ask, “Is this what we want to do or think at this moment?” Lost time does not boomerang back.
One last lesson that he highlights, centers around the concept of busy. Everyone talks about being “busy.” It has become a term that doesn’t have any real meaning. Everyone has their version of busy. Period.
What are some of the things that you’ve learned? Do Crocker’s lessons resonate with you?
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Thanks for sharing this. I just wrote about things I’ve learned. Since I turned fifty-one last week, I wrote 51 things. I liked his one on not being precious because it really is the down to earth people I am drawn to….they can be rich or whatever but they don’t put themselves above others, I guess it’s the genuineness that pulls me in.
Susan,
I remember reading your lessons post and found what you said poignant and insightful. I also gravitate toward people that are concerned with kindness and authenticity. Thanks for sharing what spoke to you about his article.
I’ve always found it fascinating that we live joyful and fulfilling lives, even though we all know we will die.
It just fascinates the heck out of me.
I really want to read the article now. Going!
Tamara,
I’ve always viewed life as a pendulum swinging between two emotions, happiness and sadness, but never considered how we center ourselves on joy even though we all know of the inevitable. Thanks for adding this insight to the discussion, Tamara.
Rudi,
I am always so happy when I see an email from you, I know its going to be rich. I read his article and was so drawn to his wisdom. Thank you for refreshing me and the reminder of my tribe. Looking forward to more of your writings.
Bobbi
Thanks, Bobbi.
I appreciate your words of support and glad that my writing as well as this article resonated with you.
Thank you for sharing this, Rudri (the post and your own thoughts). I like what you wrote about being careful about whom you surround yourself with. I think I’ve got a pretty good tribe right now as well, though it is a good idea to reevaluate every so often.
These lines of his really resonated with me, because of something I am going through right now: “You have to talk things out. Sometimes it will take years. For the right people, that time is worthwhile.” I get discouraged too quickly, but reading that has made me look at my situation with different eyes.
I am glad that your tribe is one that you can count on. I think we evolve as our circumstances and age change and agree that sometimes we needed to take a second look at our existing tribe and have the courage to make the necessary changes.
I read this first thing this morning and am still not sure how I feel about being the average of the people around me. Honestly, someone could be locked up by monsters and treated terribly and be a better person than those around him. So I’m not sure I agree with him on that one. But there are others on the list that I so agree with it. Take one little one: always take the stairs. Yes! I always try to do that and people look at me like I’m nuts :). Great post, Rudri.
You make a good point, Luanne. I never thought about it in terms of i.e. a victim and his or her assailants. I suppose there are exceptions to every lesson.
Thank you for sharing. a lot of good points. True, it is morbid but a reality. My brother always says that we are all walking toward death. What is important is what we do on the way. 🙂
Your brother’s advice is a a great reminder. We are making choices everyday and we need to evaluate whether they are furthering what is important to us.