Then.
Growing up in my house, Valentine’s Day usually meant baskets lined up against every wall in our living room. My father, after retiring as a chemist, established a business that provided baskets and pottery for various florists across town. He loved his baskets. There were many times, early in the morning or late at night, he’d disappear into the garage and survey his wicker or rattan or twine baskets and make certain they were appropriate for delivery to his vendors for the upcoming weeks. Filling out invoices by hand, he sometimes recruited help from my mother, sister or me. During the latter years after his illness progressed, he managed to fill a few orders and talk to some of his regular clients about their basket needs. After my father passed, my husband and I loaded his inventory of baskets and returned them to his supplier.
Now.
My daughter’s feet pounce on the carpet without reservation. It is the morning of Valentine’s Day and she slips over and gives me a kiss on my cheek. I am a half-asleep, but I hear the words, “You are my Valentine, Momma.” She’s made a heart card that she places on my nightstand. It has words like, BFF’s, I love you, and various colored crayon hearts scattered on the white surface. As she gives me a hug, I say, “I love you.”
Those three words are a staple in our home. I say those words to my daughter regularly. Most conversations with my husband also end with love you’s exchanged. I am not afraid to say I love you to my friends.
Everyday.
The last three words I said to my father were “I love you.” There is nothing commercial about telling people you love them. And it does not need a holiday. We can’t say it enough.
This is what a set of baskets have taught me.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Beautiful and absolutely true…no need for a holiday as it should be an every day occurrence.
The idea that we need a holiday to celebrate the people we love sounds ridiculous to me. As you’ve pointed out, love doesn’t need fanfare, but requires us to make it a part of our everyday lives.
I love picturing all those baskets lined up! What a neat memory. Thank you for sharing, and I agree — we should all say I Love You to those we truly love, a lot more often.
Sarah,
Even today, if I glance at a basket, it offers a mixture of many memories. I immediately walk down memory lane.
Eloquent.
Thanks, Wolf. xoxo
Your little daughter is so very sweet. And boy, does she love her mother. I love you’s are never wasted words.
Thanks, Barbara. I really like what you say about “I love you’s.” Your comment reminded me of a news story about 2 years ago where a woman named Antoinette Tuff, held at gunpoint, talked her attacker into putting his gun down. The words she said, “I just want you to know I love you, though, OK?… We all go through something in life.” Indeed, those words are never wasted.
That’s so beautiful – I have a hard time saying those words to family. I was raised in a house where those words are assumed never spoken, only my mother but it always felt weird saying it back as I got older and our relationship became estranged. I think I get that from my father – I can count on my hands the amount of time we’ve exchanged those words. It’s my norm. Hopefully, one day it’ll be easier to say. 🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day Rudri! -Iva
Iva,
I hope, one day, those words get easier to say to certain loved ones. When the relationship is filled with struggle, it is probably difficult to express this emotion. I think that you’ve made an important point. You only say these words when you mean them. Otherwise, the exchange feels hollow.
Hope you had a Valentine’s Day filled with your faves.
That is a truly beautiful post, and you are absolutely right, there is nothing commercial about I love yous and we should say it more often, and to more than just our significant others.
Welcome Sara!
Thanks. I think saying I love you to our children and spouses comes more naturally, but there are others, friends and family members, that probably yearn to hear those words as well.
It is so important to actually tell people we love them.. to never get to the point where it feels awkward to do so. Great memory your Dad left for you!
Seana,
The closest people to you may know that you love them, but I am certain that they may want to hear those words as well. Thanks for commenting.
True and beautiful. I always say how I feel…so good to love.
Great and very inspiring. It is very important to always say I Love You to the one you love in your life because we don’t know when there gone. By the way thanks a lot for sharing this!
What a wonderful post, Rudri. You’ve captured the essence of Valentine’s Day, and the importance of telling people we love them, often and regularly.