“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” – Neil Gaiman
As we enter 2013, this quote struck me. How often do we stop because we are afraid to make mistakes?
All my life I’ve been obsessed with perfection. Planning the perfect career, marriage, and road to motherhood, I’ve learned sometimes that the course is often unexpected and not as ideal as I’ve imagined in my own head. This reminder often comes at the most unscripted times like yesterday when I was fixated on straightening a napkin and my daughter, as she watched, said, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, Momma.” Those words simmered in my gut. I paused, wondering if I am teaching my daughter that only perfect is acceptable and mistakes are not allowed.
That conversation served as a telling reminder. I look back and recount all of the mistakes I’ve made, minute and gargantuan, and what I’ve learned from them. It’s taken me a long time to realize that in those mistakes, miracles are revealed. We learn the strength of our character and how so much grace depends on how we react. When we meet our mistake, the footing is certainly unsettling and we aren’t always capable of appreciating how it is strengthening us, but it is there. Tapping into that strength we didn’t even know existed is a liberating feeling.
My mantra this year is to make more mistakes. It is probably the best way to know that you are living a life.
Happy New Year to all. And I am grateful that so many of you read my words in this space. It means more to me than you will ever know. I hope to share more of my musings with you this year. Thank you.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Happy New Year, Rudri! Keep writing! I look forward to every post.
I am a big believer in this…my mistakes have taught me many great lessons. Great post. And again happy new year, all the best. xoxo
Letting go of perfection is SO HARD! I look forward to travelling down that path with you as I seek to do the same thing. Happy New Years, friend.
Great wisdom there. I will vow to make lots of mistakes in 2013!
It took me too many years to know what your wise young daughter already knows.
Happy New Year!
I’m a perfectionist myself and to be honest, it’s completely exhausting. I put so much pressure on myself to be practically perfect in every way (just like Ms. Poppins) that I often miss opportunities or talk myself out of risks. Maybe this should be the year of risks. Is there a how-to for that?
Happy new year to you too, Rudri!
Oh, how each of your posts resonates with me, and this one especially so. I am like you. From as early as I can remember I HATED, just hated making mistakes. My 4th grade teacher wrote in my report card something to the effect of, “Cecilia has not quite accepted the fact that she does not need to be perfect.”
I work with young, successful professionals and it was just yesterday that I was chatting with my husband about the distinct differences between 2 types of young people that I see: the ones that take risks and the ones that do not. Though both are “successful,” I realized that it is the ones who make daring choices and risk failure who end up so much richer (I mean in their inner lives) and so much more fascinating as people. On the other hand I have other clients who have aimed for the top universities and most secure job paths…and they’re sweet but just don’t have an edge. They seem incapable of thinking beyond a certain point, while the level of introspection of the risk takers is impressive and deep.
I’m on board with you – here’s too more mistakes in 2013!
How often do we forget what we knew as children? How often do we let fear of looking “childish” stop us? We should be so lucky. Sage advice that I’ll bear in mind this year, Rudri.