Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith. Henry Ward Beecher
I’m home again. This visit is mixed with undertones of the familiar: giving my mom a tight squeeze bear hug, laughing and bickering with my sister, and embracing roads, both literal and figurative, that I’ve crossed many, many times before. During these conversations with my mom and sister, we talk about my father, Himat, and what we think he might say about a situation with his usual “charm.”
Today I didn’t say Dad, but said his name Himat as I talked with my Mom. I’m home again for a reason. My mom is having knee-replacement surgery on her right knee tomorrow morning. We walk the familiar terrain again. Yellow-walls, beeps, a constant slew of interruptions with stale coffee in a hotel named Hospital. I’ve detailed my ambivalence toward hospitals in many different entries in this space, but I’ve realized that I do have a choice in how my family and I can approach her surgery. I told my Mom she must remember one word during the surgery – Himat, which means courage/strength. There is no room for anxiety, but a need to embrace what happens with faith.
Isn’t that the lesson? That every day, every tomorrow we have choices, to either riddle ourselves with an armor of uncertainty or anxiety or to have faith that all happens as it should. And what I’m choosing tomorrow is to pick up the handle of Himat and some faith.
Good luck Mom. Love you.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I pray all goes well with your mother’s surgery and recovery.
Thanks Suzicate. Appreciate the good wishes. Thanks for thinking of us.
“Himat.” I am writing it down on a post-it note and keeping it in my study, where all of the inspirational things live. Love to you, Rudri, and best hopes for your mom.
Aww Kitch. These words brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much. Love you back. xoxo
Sending prayers to you and your mom. Love to you both.
What a beautiful post, Rudri. Much love to you and all best wishes to your mom during her surgery and recovery. Himat to you both. xo
It is so unnerving when our family members have to go through something like this, especially when they’re older. I was terrified of my surgery earlier this summer, but I’m sure I would have taken it harder if it had been my mom.
I’m sure the setting will take you back to some feelings you would rather not feel. But I trust you will have wonderful doctors and be in good care. A friend had me think about the new and improved me post- surgery, and it helped.
Will be thinking good thoughts for your mother. Hugs to you, Rudri.
Thinking of your mom, Rudri. And wishing Himat for both of you tomorrow. <3
I’m late to read this but sending wishes for your mother’s quick, courageous recovery. Love the message of strength and faith you shared. Thank you.
Because my husband just had the exact same surgery – a right knee replacement – just over a week ago, I am behind in my reading. My husband opted for coming straight home from the hospital, so we have had some sort of medical personnel – nurses, lab techs to draw blood, and physical therapists – here on a daily basis. We were told the first week or two would be the toughest. It has been a bit challenging during the first week (mostly dealing with pain meds – a sensitivity to narcotic drugs), but now things are looking great.
I hope all went well with your mother’s surgery and I am wishing her a quick recovery. (Please feel free to contact me.)
Faith is what keeps us alive and believing that everything will work out for the best. Praying for your mom.
Found you by coincidence through SITSgirls, but am so blessed to read this post–good words always come at the right time. Best to you and your mom.