This past weekend I attended my twenty year high school reunion. As a part of the festivities, the reunion committee organized a meet and greet at the high school with our principal. On Saturday morning, I drove from my former childhood home on Bosque Street to Garland High School. During the short drive, I thought about random memories of high school: sitting on the steps outside the school waiting for my Dad to pick me up, the graduation party my parents threw in our backyard (for some of my classmates it was their first taste of Indian food), and how I memorized and recited Shakespeare’s speech, “To Be or Not To Be” from Hamlet during my junior year of English.
As I parked my car in the back lot of the school, I thought about all the times I tried to secure a late-last minute spot because I was running just a few minutes late. I tried to place myself at the exact same location twenty years ago. Although my high school experience was generally positive, I recall feeling awkward and insecure. As one of the few Indian girls in my school, I couldn’t really blend in. And the fact that I was a Hindu vegetarian added to my feelings of being different.
But twenty years later, as I conversed with some of my oldest classmates, I remember some of the more funnier and happier memories. My friend Scott, who to this day is one of the most genuine and nicest people I’ve ever met, literally saved my life during English class. I ate a Gobstopper in English class and choked. I motioned to Scott, who immediately performed the Heimlich Maneuver. We joke collectively that if it wasn’t for Scott, my husband and I would have never met. And then there is my dear friend Kristi. She introduced me to the Rolling Stones song, “Paint It Black.” We’ve been friends ever since and shared memories that extend beyond high school. I saw other classmates, like Tammy, who always smiled and carried an upbeat attitude through our four years of high school. And twenty years later, it was a comfort to see that she still had that sunny disposition. In the evening time during the reception, my friend Lexie, one of the most versatile people I know, still laughed the same way, a laugh I’ve know since Kindergarten. She’s still got that same spirit about her. Always moving, laughing and embracing life.
As we all mingled together during the reception, I thought about the universality of all of our experiences. I heard some of the same words in conversations: college, marriage, kids, divorces, losses, job changes, moves, illness and other various hues of happiness, and sadness. But what amazed me was the ease of most conversations. Most of us just slipped into banter without considering that twenty years had passed. Perhaps it’s because of the shared history, the fact that we all probably felt a sense of not fitting in or in transition during high school.
These conversations furthered my belief that we aren’t all that complicated. We are all still seeking the same thing we strived for in high school. For someone to say, I hear you. And I get it. Some things never change. Even after twenty years.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I’m so glad it was a positive experience. I’m not sure I’ll go to mine!
Oh I hope you go. I think you can learn so much about yourself. The nostalgia is something I couldn’t resist.
Thank you for sharing, Rudri . I am glad that you had a great time.
So glad you had a wonderful time. My hubby and I went to his 30 year two years ago and have been getting together with old classmates ever since. It seems when we were young and struggling to fit in we never REALLY knew one another, and now that we are confident in who we are we feel free to genuinely know and accept one another…see there are some wonderful things about aging!
I agree. There is a certain confidence in growing older. I think we learn to embrace who we are as we age.
High school was/is such a terrible, wonderful, formative place … Do I want to revisit it? Have I made peace with everything that happened? Have others? I don’t know the answers, but you’ve got me thinking.
When the opportunity arises, I hope you are able to attend your reunion. And I hope you can answer some of those questions.
Good to read about your experiences. Of course I do have my memories too.. of picking you and Lexie up on at least one occasion. Of seeing your parents at various meetings when you and Lexie were in school. Of being amazed at the diversity of the group.. you, Scott, Lexie and others. They were good times. It amazes me that all 4 of my kids can say the same.
Ms. Brooks,
Thanks for reading and commenting. I am so grateful that so many of my school experiences had your daughter in them. The diversity, I agree, was certainly amazing given that we lived in a smaller city. Hope you are doing well.
I’ve missed all school reunions because of where I chose to plant my roots – it’s just too hard to make the trip back home for an event like that so lately, I just see the pictures of these gatherings on Facebook and wish I was there with them.
When I do go home and meet up with my friends from school, it’s like no time had passed between the last time we saw each other. The personalities remain the same; it’s just the life situations that change. I guess these are the benefits and comforts of old friendships. Some things just never change.
I enjoyed slipping into conversations without feeling that any time has passed. It is certainly comforting and amazing.
I went to my tenth, but then I just couldn’t muster the strength to do another. I’m glad you had such a great experience at yours!
I’ve missed most of my reunions as well, like Justine, due to relocating. Then again, I rather like remembering people as they were… Call me crazy!
(But your right – some things certainly never change! Though surprisingly, many people do – and I find that encouraging.)
Yes. Agreed. Change can also be uplifting too.
I am still boycotting any high school reunions. Our 15th was last year and it still felt too soon. Maybe in 2015.
Hope you make it out to your 20th. I am glad I did.
I don’t know if I have as many positive memories, but your friends sound cool. Have you seen Grosse Pointe Blank? I love the way that movie deals with high school reunions.
I haven’t seen Gross Pointe Blank, although I’ve heard that movie title before. I will check it out. My friends are awesome and I am grateful for having them in my life.
Hi, Rudri! I never went to my High School reunion. But you’re right. I found a friend from HS on FB and was shocked at how she deteriated in her life and health due to choices she made and some avenues that she had no choice. I was suffering under the misguided notion that I would encounter all these successful people and yet the people in HS are people whose paths never exactly go as you might have supposed. Sometimes, there are detours.
I believe we are all guilty of making assumptions. It’s sobering when we realize how our own impressions can be wrong sometimes. And yet these different unexpected paths are hopefully a positive learning experience for those who didn’t expect the detour.
As always thanks for reading and commenting Nikole.