Nostalgia isn’t a burden for me; I embrace it. I’ve detailed my struggle with living in the now, the constant spin prevents my ability to stand still even for a moment in my current place. As much as I worry about what is to come, there is a quite deference to nostalgic moments, honoring the significance of previous experiences, the comfort and guidance of my past provides me with a place to seek refuge.
Many of these memories are embedded in different emotions, some ordinary, while others more monumental. The experiences I carry with me are of my Mom braiding my hair before school while I watched the Gilligan’s Island or of my father telling me that I would survive Computer Science, even though Pascal sounded like more of a name of a pet than a computer language. There were many nights when we did ice cream runs, my father always ordering Butterscotch, while I ordered Peppermint. Watching football games with my sister on a Sunday afternoon, while we ate Subway sandwiches is another moment I recall when I think about reaching my arms out to the past.
Other memories are with my husband, when we knew only the love of one another, strolling in the streets of Nice or or studying in the library, side by side. Now on either side of me, is my husband and my daughter. Her teeth falling out in the recent weeks, leaves me nostalgic for a grin that had no space. She walks with me, the days of swaddling and carrying her something I only experience through pictures.
I wonder if I will be nostalgic for this time. I look at the grins in the picture, my daughter cradling both me and my husband. These captured smiles graced are holiday cards this years, a picture that my husband took by setting up the camera on several pillows and timing it just right. The grins were a result of at least five takes of the same shot, hoping that one would make the cut for the annual holiday card.
Perhaps as a woman removed ten years from now, I will look at that picture and those smiles, seeking refuge.
Happy Holidays to you and yours. May you seek refuge. In the now. Or in the past.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I love this post! So well written! Merry Christmas, Rudri. 🙂
Wishing you all the best, Rudri!! Happy holidays!
That is a beautiful picture. Merry Christmas!!
Beautiful picture, I love nostalgia of yesterday… what a legacy you are leaving for your daughter by all of your postings!
God Bless-
Angie
I love pictures of Christmases past and the memories they always bring. Each image seems to get more special with every year that passes, especially as I watch my children grow. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Rudri!
I am constantly aware of how difficult it is to be in the now, but it’s also so important. As I’m living moments, I’m thinking about how I might think about them later on. I suspect that’s why I always have my camera close by.
I loved your card. You all look so happy and beautiful!! I would never have guessed it took so many tries because it looks so natural. Thank you for another beautiful post. Merry Christmas!
What a gorgeous photo. Definitely one for the ages, and, I suspect, one that will definitely trigger the same nostalgia as the other memories you mentioned.
Enjoy your time with your family this weekend, Rudri!
Nostalgia is beautiful! Lovely post, Rudri. Love the family photograph! Happy holidays to you and yours.
What if we embraced the fact that nostalgia is a part of life, a recognition that time passes, that what is bittersweet is like music in a minor key? It’s quite beautiful, and the necessary companion of music in a major key.
What a beautiful family you three make. Enjoy the holidays!
I think nostalgia anchors, reminds us of who we are and from where we’ve come. It shapes up and provides focus for our children. It’s a wonderful and difficult thing. Thank you for sharing, and happy holidays to you!!
Its difficult to look to the future if we don;t hold onto some very valuable memories from our past.
You do right to embrace nostalgic thoughts, i know i do
“Pascal sounded like more of a name of a pet than a computer language” — chuckled as I read this line. We’re of like minds!
Happy New Year to you and yours!
Like you, nostalgia isn’t something that bothers me. I find it refreshing even if it can be tinged with sorrow.
The past, the present, the future are all parts of who we are, even when it’s hard to see exactly where we’ve been, where we are, and where we are going.
Happy holidays to you and your family.