I am a big fan of the “Life is Good” t-shirts. On the corner of the shirt, there is a saying, Do What You Like, Like What You Do.” So simple, but true. But in the same breath, it appears so many of us spend time doing what we don’t like.
Last week I met a physician and while conversing, she revealed she didn’t really enjoy or like her job. The math in my head was automatic, knowing she dedicated at least seven years training in a profession she could live without. Serious disdain appeared on her face, the start of wrinkle lines forming on the corner of her mouth.
I realize people run on a pathway that they don’t like but because of practical reasons they must continue. I represented that segment of the population. When I graduated from law school, student loans took precedence. I took a job, knowing I didn’t really love bankruptcy work. In the three years of my legal education, the words, I want to be a bankruptcy attorney never came out of my mouth. But it paid the bills and those interest bearing loans. Some days were painful, a combination of a horrible woman boss and a legal field that didn’t really speak to me.
So can people change their course? I think so, but it may mean making tough choices, a path that doesn’t equate to immediate success. It may mean abandoning a choice you thought you liked. It means reflecting. It means reevaluating. It means changing. It isn’t easy. It took me years to admit that law wasn’t the right choice for me and to write those words here, it is scary for me. I’ve spent almost ten years doing something I didn’t love. The gravity of that statement sickens me – What if I had reflected midway into that journey and decided to change course? I didn’t for so many reasons. I delayed it for practical reasons, like money, ego and the instant credibility of announcing that yes, I am attorney.
Where am I now? I don’t have fancy business cards or a brief case, tapping my heels into the courtroom. Most days, I sport a ponytail, typing words on my computer, generating no revenue. With a whole heart, I can say I like what I do and am doing what I like.
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Do you like what you do? Do you ever think of making a career change? What would you do if you could do something else? Has you career interest changed as you have gotten older?
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Eye-opening piece. I think the majority of people are “stuck” in their jobs, and see it as just that, a job. When I was in school, a professor once said that having a job and having a career were two entirely different things. I can honestly say I truly appreciate that piece of advice now. I think it might be necessary to acknowledge that loving your work does not necessarily mean every moment is a bed of roses, but that despite those moments, at the end of your day, you can leave your “job” and have a sense of inner contentment and contribution to a “greater” calling, whatever that may be in your world.
I love aspects of my job, and love that I can help others in some way. It may not get the glitz and glamour that a MD receives but I think it has its own sense of nobility. Still, I do dream of doing other things, crazy dreams that only seem like a fantasy now. But who knows, maybe one day I’ll have the guts to do what you did, and finally not only like what I do, but love what I do, and do what I love…
Thanks for writing this.
Great post. I had no clue what I wanted to do career wise, falling into the world of finance and business management because I was good at Maths. I was lucky, because I ended up in a very unique organization and series of jobs that I loved, getting to travel the world, live in other countries etc. But I know so very many people who do not enjoy the work they do. As you say, you spend so much of your life working, doing something you don’t love seems such a waste, but changes can be made, you can take your talent and weave it in a different direction. My husband was also an accountant but now manages IT support services.
For me it was not my career that I did not love, it was my personal life and so at the age of 29 I did something about it. It was not easy, took a lot of time and stress and trouble to extricate myself from but it was what I needed to do. Life it too short to settle.
Great post! When I left the corporate world, I felt a sense of relief. Working in management made me feel great and accomplished but i was constantly overwhelmed. After I leftmy husband jokingly asked, now what will you talk about? Work was my life, I never talked about anythi g else or thought about anything else. It takes a while to adjust to a change in focus and lifestyle if you leave the 9-5 grind. It’s actually harder to adjust to the change then to continue what you were doing- but after you get through the bumps in the road and start doing what you love, it’s worth it!
My sister is also an attorney. I know she changed her mind before she even went to law school, but the cost of those applications, etc., made her go. And it continues, more than 20 years later, because she makes a fantastic living and it’s tough to give that up.
I’m glad you were brave enough to make the changes you needed to make to become a writer. It suits you 🙂
It took courage to change the path that you chose. I am glad that you did because I believe that writing is your passion and you do it so well!!
I love what I do, but then again, I’ve worked many years to fashion this life I now live. Running a foundation, political advisor, parent, wife,writing. I’d be hard pressed to give up any of these but if I had to, the first two would have to go.
My kids and I just had this conversation at dinner. My daughter asked me what I thought I would be when I grew up – and I told her, “A career woman.” But then, I grew up and have found that my “job” as mom is my hands-down-favorite-job of all time. I LOVE, love, love what I do. My son asked me what he should do when he grew up and I quoted the very same quote you used for your post today. And then I reminded them that what you love will change – and it’s important to change with it.
A thoughtful post. I’m torn, reading it. Just as I am when I realize that I’ve taught my sons conflicting truths – and they are equally legitimate. That you should do what you love, but also that you must be responsible for yourself and your family, and accountable. Sometimes you can do both. Not always.
For one thing, what we love may change. Or the reality of it is different from what we thought. Or, our life circumstances change and so we must accept something else – to pay the bills. To be responsible.
Practical matters ultimately win out, for many of us who are parents. That doesn’t preclude times when we do things we love, and it may not be for pay, but someone has to pick up the tab.
So many are caught up in jobs they don’t like due to finances etc… Fortunately, I’ve had the freedom to experiment a little. Now, I am happy doing what I do. Nice post.
My career has been on a fairly straight path for several years now, and though it isn’t what I said I’d like to do, I love and value it. I started a new job very recently, one more demanding of my time and my mind, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been at work (since I worked for art and peanuts in grad school, that is). I hate to think that I’d get stuck doing something I don’t like – but my sense of commitment and pride are very strong, so perhaps I’d be reluctant to allow myself to start over. Honestly, when observing others in that unfortunate position, I’ve felt not excitement for them so much as pity and concern at the idea of going back or switching gears. With age, family, financial commitments and uncertainty, I’ve gathered a need for stability and a fear of big change.
I was raised in a household where one parent loved what she did and the other did not. I saw both sides of the fence and learned a lot about passion versus responsibility. It’s hard to abandon our pursuits because they don’t make us happy, we don’t love what we’re doing, etc. But I think that life is about taking risks, following our hearts, finding ways to keep the fire burning within us while still supporting our families financially. It is rare to find people who are doing this well, I think. And that makes me sad. But it gives me pause at this time in my life, where I am one of those people taking risks, looking for MORE out of my life, my work, and my self. I figure that if you don’t ever jump, you’ll never see if you can fly, and there’s always a ledge to land on if you can’t succeed at something you LOVE to do.
Great post. !!!
Great post today! I’ve never noticed that saying on Life is Good shirts – I’ll have to start looking for it.
I could agree more with what you said here. I think it’s so important to love what you do for your job. I mean, we have to do it 8 hours day for almost 30-40 years, so you want to enjoy it! But you are right that sometimes situations, necessity, circumstances force people to do something they really don’t enjoy, and that is so sad. I mean, 1/3 of our day is typically spent working – it’s horrible to feel that you have wasted that precious time, or that you felt even the least bit unsatisfied during that large chuck of the day.
I have been very, very blessed in that I, like you, realized after many years of school and work that I didn’t enjoy litigating. I didn’t see that as my future – couldn’t even fathom it! But I luckily found this career path now that allows me to utilize that legal education and experience, while still getting to be invovled in the parts of litigation that I did enjoy, without having to do the things I don’t enjoy. I thank God everyday for my job because I am truly happy, satisfied, and challenged by what I do, and I know that is rare in today’s world.
Rudri, I applaud you your decision although it probably was an extremely difficult one to make. I’ve veered off course in my own career because I didn’t want to continue on a path that just paid the bills but didn’t inspire me. My passion for food led me to the F&B industry where I put in over three years. The change from the corporate culture to that was jarring at first but I enjoyed the pace and wanted to pursue a path that I thought was closed to me just because of my education and experience.
As it turns out, that life wasn’t for me either but at least I got the chance to find out on my own and now I never have to wonder the what-ifs. I got back to the path I started on but I’m much happier now. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I’m finding fulfillment outside of my job, and that it alone isn’t the driver of my happiness and contentment.
I’m glad you are happy with where you are today. It feels good doesn’t it?
I’m right here, right now. It’s as much about career because I like what I do, as it is about my whole life. And that makes it scary and painful. But in this you write important words, thank you. Brave you!
So very true. I am struggling with that right now.
Thank you for this. Indeed an important (and often overlooked) reminder for us all.
I admire you for this, because as you said, being in a profession like law garners automatic respect and gives you instant credibility. That’s very satisfying. And when you leave it behind to do something less ‘glamorous’, you have to create your OWN self worth instead. Congrats on being that person.
This is the reason I am supporting my husband through medical school. He loves medicine and working with people. He is good at it. He tried so many other vocations (i.e. majors) but finally gulped down his fears and went pre-med. He has been happy since.
I think what makes the whole path easier for Ben is knowing he isn’t entering medicine because of the money, but because he feels he can help needy populations the most through this route.
As for me, the job I would pursue, besides motherhood, would not have any financial benefits, but it would allow me to work with at-risk populations. Something I dream about every (other) day.
Awesome post, Rudri.
I like working as a writer. I like working as a mother. There are some projects I wish I didn’t have to do, for sure, and others I wish I could turn down (but as you say said: interest-bearing loans!). There are diapers I wish I could ignore and laundry I wish would put itself away. But, overall, I’m pretty pleased with the way my life has turned out. I’m glad you are, too. =>
This brings me right back to one of my favorite quotes, in my favorite book–Crossing to Safety–by my favorite author–Wallace Stegner. “Do what you like to do. It’ll probably turn out to be what you do best.” We, the lucky ones, hope to reach this goal.