Saying Thank You is not overrated, but I don’t think we say these words enough.
There are people we should thank, but don’t. I am not certain why. We think we will have time to do it later. Or maybe it isn’t the right moment. Or we don’t know the right words to say. Or we need a plan. Or we are waiting for an occasion or an event.
Thank You should be part of the ordinary day. It shouldn’t wait, because time is finite. The chance you may be waiting for may not happened; time evaporates.
I reflected this weekend. I thought about how some people have shaped my life. And they may not even know it. But today, I am going to Thank people who have guided me, elevated me, supported me, believed me and picked me up when I didn’t have the will to do it myself.
So here goes. Here is my list.
Thank You Husband: Thank you for showing me how to live. I don’t always get it, but you keep trying. You have NEVER given up on me, even though there have been times where I have doubted myself. My number one fan, you are unwavering in your support, love and friendship. Thanks for butterflies, movie nights, ice cream, and making me chuckle like no one else can.
Thank You Mom: You have shown me grace. No matter what people may say or do, you have always encouraged me to take the higher road. The road that is hard to take, but that reflects dignity. In quiet moments, I watch your smile. It isn’t the same smile when Dad was around, but it is still there. Yours is the courage of trying to live, even though an enormous part of you is lost.
Thank You Sister: Whenever I need to confess something, I know you are my vault. You are the best secret keeper ever. When I feel down, you listen to me. You really listen to me. You offer the advice I need to hear, but others may be afraid to tell me. I admire your compassion. I’ve seen it with Dad, in his final days, showing him You tube videos trying to make him laugh, even though all of us wanted to put our heads in our hands and cry until the tears couldn’t come anymore.
Thank You Daughter:I learn to appreciate the simplest things. Rainbows, flowers, cracks in the pavement are all equally awesome to you. You teach me that we should run in life, toward it, without reserve, without expectation. And the biggest thing you have taught me, the power to love unconditionally and to forgive without thinking twice. Yours is a life that is enchanted, the kaleidoscope reflecting and absorbing all.
Thank You Friends: You know who you are. Some of you have helped me in times of crisis. You’ve talked to me and showed me another road. You have laughed with me, consoled me, and taught me that life can be half-full. Some of you have told me to keep writing, even though I’ve wanted to give up.
Thank You Dad: My regret is that I never told you this while you were alive. I was under the impression you would live forever. Maybe you are reading this. Who knows? You taught me the value of hard work and independence. If you believed in something, pursue it systematically, without reserve. What surprised me the most, in those final years, is your unabashed approach to all of your cancer treatments. I remember you couldn’t taste anything or feel anything in the tips of your fingers, but even with the 50th chemo treatment, you did it without complaining. Every single treatment, because we asked, you went through it. You taught all of us to fight. To fight even when your losing and you know it. It is better than not trying at all.
Why don’t you make your list? And then call that person and let them know. Say your Thank You’s. Don’t wait.
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Who has shaped your life? Have you thanked them? Do you think we place enough emphasis on giving thanks? or do you think Thank You’s are dictated by traditions or an event?
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I like this a lot! It’s such an important exercise. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This is exactly why I started my project http://www.TenThousandThankYouNotes.com, because we don’t put enough emphasis on gratitude or we too often assign a time and place to it. Thank you for posting this today.
Best,
Hannah Katy
Thank YOU, Rudri. You inspired me to be thankful today, and for that, I’m thankful 🙂
I learned early on to thank those to whom I feel have helped me a great deal, whether they knew it or not. However, I often forget to thank my children who have taught me more in these two years than I’ve ever learned my entire life. You have inspired me to thank them today.
This is beautiful, Rudri. I agree, we need to say thank you more often. Not the small “thank you” for a gift or helping out with a chore – although those are important too. But the really big, monumental “thank you” for changing my life. These are the hardest thank yous to put into words, the ones that bare your soul and make you feel vulnerable. But they are also the most heart-warming thank yous.
Today I say thank you to my husband’s parents, for raising him to be a loving, generous, funny man. For passing on their values, for raising him in a home of love and warmth, for giving him many happy memories of his youth.
Saying thank you is so important. This was a great idea.
You’ve reminded me of a very important thank you that I have been neglecting – so thank YOU! Important, wonderful post!
Beautiful post Rudri. Reading it I was thinking how very true this is. My family are not overly demonstrative and even now it is hard to say the things I want to say – for example to my Dad, when he was here saying I loved him very much took some effort but I did. It is so important not just to think these things but to also say them as it means so very much to do so. Just lovely – you always make me think.
This is lovely, Rudri. I’m a big believer in saying thank you, and even writing it. This is a wonderful reminder.
I was ranting to myself the other day about thank-you notes and how no one ever seems to write them anymore, or if they do, they generate them on the computer so they’re completely generic and phony. But the kind of thank-yous you’re talking about are oh-so-much-more important. Thanks for the reminder. (And my list would look much like yours, with my husband, parents, and children at the top.)
Thank you is essential. And simple. I don’t do it for fluff but for substance.
Whenever we part ways and my husband is going to work I thank him for working. He does it all the time, but I think that means all the more it deserves a thank you.
This is a beautiful post, Rudri, and you’re right, we never say thank you enough. I grew up in a house where thank yous were implied and no one really said them. Then in my college years I met someone who’s family was all about saying thank you and showing their appreciation even for the littlest things. I thought it was weird at first but eventually see the power in a simple thank you on an ordinary day. Ever since then, I have made it a point to make that part of my vocabulary every day. Not just an empty utterance but to really mean it as well. Like this one:
Thank you for this.
Rudriben,
I moved back to Dallas from Kentucky two months ago. With alot of things to take care of, I did not get a chance to read your blogs for this period of time. I just sat back and overlooked what I had missed and I want to Thank You for writing, some of your writings inspire us to do greater things in life and some of you writings may change our view point we have on certain things. All in all, THANK YOU for writing.
Dear Rudri, Thanks for everything you doing for me. Thanks to Radhika, Ashish, and Minu. Keep on writing. My blessings are with you. Love, Mom
Thank you for that idea. Yeah, me and thank you notes are not the best of friends.