One change has altered my perspective on roots, the idea of belonging to just one place.
On July 7th of last year, we started our journey in the land of the sun, where sandstorms are more common than rain falling from the skies. I remember looking out the window, staring at the openness of the landscape around me. The streets running parallel to the highway weren’t littered with malls, movie theaters or random business establishments. Instead, mountains surrounded us, the sharpness of the peaks poking the blue sky.
I immediately felt a sense of emptiness. And then the barrage of very random, but essential questions invaded my mind.
How would all this work? Would I learn to like Phoenix? Would my husband like his new job? Even though I had not practiced law in over two years, I started thinking, is the Arizona bar difficult? My thoughts then moved to my daughter. Would she like it? Would she like her new school? The questions blinked on and off, almost synchronized to the traffic lights on the street. With each new question, my level of panic increased.
To be honest, I didn’t want to start over. I was comfortable with my routines of the past. The familiarity of my Texas surroundings offered me relief. Why wouldn’t it? My family, everything I knew, was in Texas. It was my breath of fresh air. As we continued to drive, I noticed my breaths were shallow and short. The anxiety of the move was settling in, even if I didn’t want to acknowledge it.
A year later, I am a little surprised at myself. Intrinsically change isn’t something I always embrace, but I’ve readjusted. Some days, I must confess (although I can’t believe I am saying this out loud, this secret I’ve kept to myself for the last few months): I like Arizona.
I can’t tell you when I came to this conclusion, but it happened. It feels a little strange, acknowledging it, but it is true. It has given me pause, coming to this realization. I’ve learned that roots can run deep, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to appreciate a new place.
A single change, can lead to a chain reaction of things you never thought you would accept.
A year later this is what I’ve learned.
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How have you embraced change? What have you learned from it? Are you sometimes surprised at how quickly you can adjust to change?
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I love this article.. I am nervous at first when I move from one place to another but I always often liking a new place and making new freinds. In the earlier age, it was fun to move one place to another but as I am getting older, Its definately takes more time to adjust…
I am excited that you like Arizona….
Oh how I can relate. We moved down the street (literally) 9 months ago and it was really hard for me. I had been friends with all my neighbors at our last apartment and I was not willing to interact with new people, especially considering I was 8 months pregnant.
Yet, now I really like our new place. I have found some wonderful friends and find I am able to walk more here than I could at my last apartment. It is truly wonderful.
I *say* I’m good with change. I suppose that’s who I want to be. I talk a good game. But I’d really struggle with a major life change right now. I know we’ll be faced with that at some point. There’s talk of a cross-country move for work and I am 100% behind the idea. And yet… yet… it’s scary!
I adjusted to married life, and then to life as a mother. But truth be told, I didn’t go too gracefully into the roles of wife and mother. It took some time.
I guess, if I’m honest, I’m a little slow to accept change. My heart’s in the right place, though, so there’s that!
That was quite a big change to make, a new state, a new job for your husband, new school for your daughter and more. I have always embraced and indeed craved change. Having my daughter three years ago has finally it seems grounded me, at least for now, but I can see the day when itchy feet will strike again 🙂
I am glad you are enjoying living in Arizona now and are enjoying this new life and the changes wrought upon your life.
Wait – you were in phoenix and didn’t see malls and restaurants everywhere? WHERE in Phoenix?? 😉
I’ve been in SoCal for 11 years and though there are things I like, it still doesn’t feel like home. I fear it never will.
I am consistently surprised by how quickly I adapt to change – even scary unwelcome changes. One moment I’m somewhere between hyperventilation and tantrum, and in the next I’ve assumed a new reality that soon leaves the old one in the distance.
I’m glad that this story ended in a happy place.
You should go up north. It’s beautiful up here in the mountains and in our forests and high deserts. Change is beautiful.
Last summer we moved too. Within Texas. It’s a big state, and each city I’ve lived in has been different. Even a small move can be a big adjustment. But if you’re open to it, every place has something great. And the ripples of one change can make the whole world new. I think we’re settled for a while, but who knows?
Makes me miss you even more. But brings me some peace knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, and more importantly, knowing that YOU realize this.
Much love,
Radhi
So glad you have carved a space for yourself with which you’re comfortable in your new surroundings. I made a big move once – across the globe – but as a teenager with wild eyes and hope for my future, so that doesn’t really count.
Now that I have been here for the last 10 years and hink it’s time to pick up and move to another part of the country, I am very hesitant mostly because I do love my current city. I am just tired of its location. And 10 years is a long time. So we have a plan to leave, but I am daunted by starting over. Strange places and faces – Like you, I hope to get used to my new place and fall in love with it.
If not, there is always someplace else I guess. That’s what I tell myself. Like the “hair will grow back” consolation after a bad haircut – only harder and more tedious.
I love this post. I have a difficult time with change. I like the comfort of familiarity. I am glad that you have adjusted to your new surroundings and accepted change.
This is a great deal of change at once. Starting over can be hard, harder at certain times than others. It sounds like you were open and flexible. Traits that help with everything.
There’s change we choose, and change we don’t. We have to do the best we can with all of it. I used to embrace change. I still do to some extent. It gets harder.
I think I may be the opposite of you. We moved 12 or more times before I graduated high school and then I moved at least 10 more times by the end of grad school. As an adult, I’ve moved 3 more times and plan to move again at least once.
For me, moving equals a clean slate, a fresh page, the chance to recreate myself and break out of my slumps. I do understand the anxiety though. I get it when I’m trying to make changes within my normal day-to-day routine. Trying to change without that fresh start makes my brain hurt.
I love that you’ve this lesson about yourself, though. Isn’t it amazing how we’ve lived in these bodies for years and yet every day we learn something new about ourselves?
Beautiful, and so encouraging. These little, imperceptible changes can add up to something great.