Nine years ago today, on June 30, 2001, I became a better person.
My courtship with my now husband was a long one, spanning eight years before we finally got married. There was some opposition to our union even though we came from similar backgrounds. It was a tough year before we got engaged, with people citing reasons why we shouldn’t get married, everything from age, socio-economic backgrounds, and the fact that we were both at the start of our careers. These reasons have faded, the virulence a forgotten remnant of the past.
People talk about why they marry a certain person and cite love, attraction, and other tangible qualities. For me, it was about trusting my instinct. It is a feeling, something that rumbles in your core that guides you to make those important decisions. It is unwavering, something that you know inside of you, but can’t explain to others. As soon as my husband asked me to marry him, I knew it was the absolute right decision for me.
When I am around him, I feel calm. I laugh more. He tries to keep me laughing by telling me corny jokes, which almost always leads to a chuckle that comes from the same core that knew he was the one. He has always accepted me for who I am, whether I play mother, writer, or lawyer. I have complete freedom in choosing how to live as an individual. He has cheered me on through every doubt, always telling me to pursue happiness.
And the thing I love about my husband, his uncanny ability to live and to let live. I have a very hard time with this concept, but everyday, he shows by his actions, that this is a short life, but can be a rich one, by focusing on the things that matter the most. I am known to concentrate on the small details, the inconsequential ones, while my husband, reminds me that there is the grander picture, the one that should matter the most.
To tell you the truth, it doesn’t really feel like nine years of marriage, I feel as vibrant as the day he asked me to marry him. We had a celebratory pre-anniversary lunch, laughed out loud because neither one of us liked our entrees, but we were both sitting next to one another, holding hands, and talking about nothing in particular. It was simple celebration, but that’s usually how we like it. I wasn’t fussing at the lack of good dessert to top off our meal, because you know what? It didn’t matter.
I looked over at him, thinking maybe that bigger picture stuff has finally rubbed off on me.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Congratulations on your anniversary! What a lovely post – you sound very happy together. 🙂
Congratulations on your anniversary. What a lovely post. Enjoy celebrating this special day.
Happy Anniversary!
My hubby and I celebrated our 7th anniversary on Monday (the 28th) and we also had a long courtship (another 7 years). I couldn’t have found a better guy.
It sounds like you are perfect for each other. Enjoy your day!
Congrats!!!!! I am so happy to that you found your soulmate.
Happy anniversary, Rudri! I wish you and your husband many, many more happy and healthy years together.
Happy Anniversary Rudri! What a lovely tribute to your husband. May you have many, many more precious, wonderful years together.
It sounds like you are perfect for one another. Congrats and Happy Anniversary on your 9 years!
Happy Anniversary, Rudri!
What a beautiful tribute to what really matters, and to your husband. Happy anniversary, and many, many more.
Happy Anniversary, Rudri. I loved reading this blog. I, too, get hung up on the small details and my husband helps me see the grander picture. Thank God for loving, wonderful husbands, huh?
Congratulations on your anniversary, Rudri. Cheers to trusting your instinct.
Happy anniversary. A lovely post. Love the pic, you guys make a nice looking couple.
Happy anniversary!
Congratulations, Rudri! You and Ashish are such a great couple and complement each other so well.
You are my inspiration! Loved the post. You guys were truly made for each other and I’m so glad you stuck to your gut’s instinct. Happy anniversary! Much love!
An absolutely beautiful post. You’re so very rich, in not just your writing, but in your relationship with Ashish Jijo.
The love between you two is inspirational. My hope is for you two to continue to inspire!
Happy anniversary to two of my most favorite people in this world! Love you guys and JSK!
Congratulations! Sounds like you have nothing but good things to look forward to.
Rudri, I love this take on instinct. It’s something deep inside you that you know you can trust, that reveals your real feelings even before you know them.
My husband and I just celebrated 9 years too! Congratulations!
I, too, celebrated a wedding anniversary this week. And the looking back is a sweet reminder of all that we have now–how simple it was, how seamless we were, how romantic, how we laughed together, and loved one another. It’s more complicated now. But that’s just life. And parenthood. But it’s no less sweet.
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Belated Anniversary! Such a lovely tribute, you are both fortunate to have each other. I feel as though I could have written this post myself because my own husband is also so many of the things you describe. I love him the same to this day (we’re married 10 in Sept) because, well to borrow the cliche, he completes me. We are lucky women! And I think our husbands would get along.
So sweet! A belated Happy Anniversary!
This is a beautiful tribute to your husband! I’m proud of you for following your instincts and your heart, despite the naysayers. Happy Anniversary!
Ru, that is just beautiful!!! I hope to soon find the kind of love that you and Ash have for each other. Congratulations!