The beach is a novelty for our family. Last week, on our way to Disney, we decided to take a detour to Newport Beach. I’ve probably gone to the beach a handful of times, the memory of my experience, completely forgotten.
My feet hit the sand, a giant wave of crunchy coldness lined the crevices of my feet. The wind gusts and my hair gets away from me, the occasional strand out of place covering my eye. The sounds of birds overhead, the waves welcoming me, I watched as my daughter and my husband went to hug the water. As my daughter got closer to the waves, she would run, afraid the water would engulf her. Her squeals and laughter disturbed the quiet around us, her voice vibrating in the air.
When she is this excited, I tell her to quiet her voice, but I didn’t this time. The open space absorbed her squeals, almost as if she never raised her voice. With her running back and forth chasing the water or the water chasing her, my thoughts were uninterrupted, my eyes focused on the horizon, the blending of pinks, blues, and whites. I took a deep breath and I was aware that my mind was completely blank. I’ve always had a hard time reaching a blank state of mind, always struggling to quiet the restlessness that is my permanent shadow. I am always anticipating the next moment, betraying the present, neglecting the now. But on that beach for a brief period of time, what was happening around me, enveloped me, the waves pushing any unnecessary thoughts out of my mind.
My daughter and husband were standing at the edge of where the sand meets the water, while I stood a few feet behind them. I smiled as I looked at them, the love for them, reminding me that now is something I take for granted so often. I am always chasing something, a continuous ferris wheel that moves in circles in my mind never allowing me to escape.
When I sit down, the sand parts, cascading down my feet and while my eyes gravitate again to my husband and daughter and I am captured with an overwhelming sense of peace. I chuckle to myself and say out loud, one word – Now.
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What are your experiences with the beach? Does the beach have an overwhelming effect on you? Do you struggle with a restless spirit ? How do you remind yourself of living in the now?
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
“Now.”
The perfect word to start a Monday with. It’s hard not to chase the day, or the week, or the end of summer vacation when it seems so far away and so overwhelming. And then there are reminders of what will pass if we chase too hard and too fast. We’ll miss, “now.”
Thank you, Rudri.
“Now.” How important it is to remember to live for the here and now, but how easy is it to forget that, so busy are we thinking about to do lists and where we are headed, not taking time to really appreciate where we stand now.
Lovely post. Beautiful picture. I absolutely love the sea and the beach, the smells, sounds, being in such a natural environment all serves somehow to slow the heart rate down and make you better able to see the “now.”
The ocean has an unbelievably, mesmerizing effect on me. I can’t even describe it. Anytime I am at the beach, I feel this complete calm come over me. You describe it perfectly – it is that feeling of being in the “now” and washing away all other thoughts and worries. I could just sit and stare at the ocean and its horizon for hours. I always say – I don’t know why I don’t live at or near the beach, as I am such a “water” person. But even loving all forms of bodies of water, there is nothing that can compare to the ocean – the entrancing waves, the smell of salty air, the sound of the water beating down on the beach…it’s just a truly amazing gift from God.
There are many reminders these days for me to be in the now. It’s funny that I want to be anywhere but the here and now. I’d rather be someplace else, with someone else, later. Living in the present is something I crave only when I’m with my family, so this moment, this awayness? I will gladly trade for later.
But I’m glad the ocean waves brought you your now. I love being ungulfed by its vastness myself, my thoughts lost somewhere in its depths and occasionally resurfacing for air, bringing with it much needed clarity.
Rudri, we live in a landlocked state, and beach trips are a novelty for us, too. Yours is just what I had in mind for my little family last summer. But alas – Jack was terrified. He didn’t even get to run from the waves, because he wouldn’t set food on the sand! For several days we tried every strategy we could find in online forums, to no avail. This year I’m starting slow, with the pool.
It isn’t always easy to focus on the now…but what a great reminder that we should!
As an island dweller, with the sea never more that two and a half miles away, the smell of the ocean is permanently in the air and I’ll probably glimpse the sea at least once a day as I travel about. I was born on this island and the sea is so much a part of me now that I honestly couldn’t live permanently away from it – I just know that I’d be terribly unhappy. I tried it once – when I was away in Oxford – and, pretty though it is, the River Isis was an *extremely* poor substitute for the sea in all its vastness and with all its moods!
I’m so glad you were able to reach that place where your mind is blank, Rudri. I too struggle with this – there is so much hubbub in our daily lives, it’s practically impossible to quiet it. But what a beautiful, free feeling to just be in the now.
Isn’t the ocean powerful? How being there can remind us of our small place in this large world? The waves coming in and out reflect the rhythms of life. The horizon beckons us and we can’t help but gaze into the distance. I’ve only been to the ocean a few times in my life, but I think most any setting in nature can do this. Mountains, lakes (I’m from Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes!), forest. It helps me feel reconnected, re-centered.
Thanks for this photo and story – bringing a smile to my day.
I, too have a restless spirit and have a hard time calming my mind, but the water always does it for me. Glad you all had a fabulous visit with the ocean.
This is a really beautiful piece, Rudri. I smiled as I imagined your daughter laughing with delight at the experience of being on the beach.
I grew up going to the beach frequently and have visceral memories of sand between toes and the way my sun-burned skin felt in the evening after I’d come inside. I don’t spend much time at the beach anymore (moving to the Midwest may have something to do with it…), but I am inspired by the way your experience allowed you to feel present in the moment – something I share your struggle with.
Thanks for sharing this magical moment with us.
Rudri, this is another stunning piece that is almost a spiritual experience for me to read.
I grew up spending many days and nights gazing at the ocean, the creatures that would surface now and again and the waves that never fail to mesmerize me. Like you, I struggle with “now” and your experience of connecting with it brought on by a visit to the beach is resonant with me.
The funny thing is, I hate being sandy and don’t enjoy being in the ocean (or being sticky and salty afterward), but there’s something about the beach … something utterly calming, no matter how rough the waves. So glad for your detour and that you got to capture this moment with your husband and daughter.
What a beautiful post and such a beautiful reminder. Sometimes detours shine the most poignant messages.
Wow, what a beautiful post.
I have been living in the “now” much more recently and I think much of it has been my choice to sit down and interact with my children. We have been silly and serious; upbeat and distressed; but each emotion reminds me of why I must enjoy the moments.
Picturing your little daughter chasing the waves with her daddy made me smile. I remember watching my own daughter do the same thing with her father last summer. Although, she was still crawling so the “chase” was not mutual, but their giggles and laughter were sent my direction along with the taste and smell of the salty ocean. It was a beautiful moment that I hold dear to my heart.
“The waves pushing any unnecessary thoughts out of my mind.” I LOVE this line. So eloquent, so evocative, so easy to relate too. Those are the moments aren’t, the moments that make it worth it. They fill us to the brim and exude such joy and peace. I am so, so happy you had this time. And I’m even happier that you shared it with us.
Hauntingly beautiful. One of your best posts yet. Almost felt as if I was sitting next to you. Brought a tear to my eye. Keep writing!
good one…. keep up the good work Rudri.
Do I ever struggle with restlessness! Since becoming a mom I’m more aware of my struggle than ever. “Now” is the only place I want to be, absorbing it all before it becomes “yesterday” or “20 years ago.”
As for the beach, it’s a mixed bag. After way too much sun exposure as a child and young adult, I’m not much for spending all day in the sun (and I’m not crazy about having sand in every nook and cranny). But I love, love water and find immense peace in the ebb and flow of the tide. Ocean air is intoxicating. It’s therapeutic to stand in the ocean, letting the waves crash against me. My favorite beaches are those in the Pacific Northwest, where jagged, rocky cliffs, dotted with trees bent and twisted by sea air, make up the coastline. So gorgeous.
Nice post. So glad you enjoyed your detour!