Last week my dear Mom called a fortune teller. She wanted to ask her several things, but settled on one question. The fortune teller gave her some random response, an answer I could have given her. My mom couldn’t ask any follow-up questions because there was a one question limit. I laugh at my Mom, scoffing her about the call, but she is old school, believing in star alignments, signs, and superstition.
Although most of us probably don’t consult a fortune teller or a psychic, we still obsess about the future. I think it starts as soon as you are teenager, when people ask you, “What are you going to be when you grow up?” After you “grow up”, the next question, is “When are you going to get married?” After being married for a few years, you are assaulted by “When are you going to have children?” After your kids grow up, then talk about retirement dominates older people’s conversations. It is a constant cycle, trying to live in the present, but inside, worrying about the future, questioning what will happen ten days from now or ten years from now.
Since I am in my thirties now, I have enough experience to admit that I am one of those people who has spent a significant amount of time worrying about the future. I’ve always craved a plan. Consequently, I’ve lived, thus far, a very linear life. There are things I wouldn’t do, like join the Peace Corp or dabble in a more “creative” career because of my fear of the future. I often catch myself asking, “How is this all going to work out?” I know there are remedies for my futuristic questioning like meditation, cultivating the zen way of life, and chanting the live in the present mantra. It hasn’t worked for me yet. Even after reflecting on my past and admitting that life has worked out, I still am in a marriage with the future man.
I look at my four year old daughter, wondering if she worries about her own future, as she sings, “I am a boogie-baby and I am going to do the twist.” She laughs, her eyes shining like speckles of glitter, and looks to us to clap. I tell my husband, I wish I could be her, free, unencumbered by all of the what I am going to do in the minutes, days or years ahead questions. Just as I think my daughter has all the answers I am looking for, she asks me “Momma, what are we doing tomorrow?”
Maybe the fortune tellers are on to something. They have figured out that we are all victims of what’s next.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
I just went to a fortune tell for the very first time a few weeks ago. It was BIZARRE. But of course she said things that I thought maybe had some meaning–my husband and others were thrilled to bring me back to earth–and then told me I could really benefit from the more expensive reading.
I’m 27 and still wondering what I’m going to be when I grow up….
I’ve always thought the idea of consulting a psychic and/or fortune teller as fun. But as I get older it seems scarier because I am afraid of they may tell me.
As always, Rachel, thanks for stopping by. It means so much.
Why worry about the future? I step out in faith and am glad I don’t know what is around the corner. I am happier for it trusting God with my future and just working on the right now. The flowers are blooming (even though it snowed last night) and it is a beautiful morning. I have my cup of coffee and tonight I get to see my husband. God gave me another day with him. What more can I ask? I say, forget what’s around the corner, get a cafe mocha, and indulge in that double chocolate cupcake with all the icing! :o)
Good advice Nikole! Thanks for stopping by.
I can’t believe I am going to admit this here, because it goes completely contrary to my own beliefs. I am not NORMALLY someone who would want to see a fortune teller, but I did once see an angel reader. That’s right…an angel reader. Apparently we all have 2 or 3 guardian angels that stay without us, in this life, and if you believe in others. She apparently can communicate with them. She can’t tell you what your future holds, but she can tell you insight about who you are, the choices you will face and how your past lives have shaped who you are today. Years later, I’m not sure I believe or not, but I can say for sure that some of what we discussed in that hour session was VERY spooky.
It is nice to think that there are angels who are watching out for us. As for her communicating with them, I agree, it is a bit spooky.
Ru-
So happy I popped in here. You’ve gotten so GOOD, this blog was a great idea for you. This post and the one about I Don’t Love You Anymore brought tears to my eyes. Good job, keep on with the writing.
Thanks Alisa. I appreciate the compliment. Hope you are enjoying motherhood and still writing!