My phone dings with another text message, I hear a few neighbors conversing in the street and my daughter is rollerblading across the wood floor. I attempt to jot a few words on the page, but nothing happens. Instead, I stare at the blank screen, an irritating unease crawling inside. Without making a second attempt to type a few words, I get up from my chair and decide to grab the clothes off the closet floor and head to our washing machine. As I do this, I cannot concentrate because of the noise in my head and the clamor in my external environment.
I am still figuring out my relationship with noise. I’ve talked about how much I adore the quiet and how it is necessary for my pursuit of contentment, but lately, my gaze is turning toward how much noise I invite into my life. Do I need to spend time on situations I cannot control? Is it wise to speculate on speculating? How do I redirect some of this noise and channel it into something more positive? The observations and reflection proved unexpected as I pondered my responses, leaving me with more questions than answers. As I sorted through my thoughts, I longed for clarity, so I decided to lace my shoes and head for a jog during lunchtime.
Paying attention to the blue sky, the light and the shadow of the mountains and the music in my ears provided an immediate moment of comfort. I continued to let thoughts enter my head, welcoming the negative and the positive strands without judging what simmered to the top. Although I am trying to practice sitting mediation this year, running is an essential part of my routine; without it my restlessness grows like a green ivy scaling walls.
I quickened my pace and alongside of me, a flash of red and blue lights flickered while a brief siren echoed in the background. My first thought pushed me to steer away from the noise, but instead, I paused as a stream of cars, headlights bright, moved in a single file line. At one precise moment of time, I noticed a white hearse as a part of this brigade of automobiles on my left, while on my right, a hummingbird flitted along my pathway.
Between a hearse and a hummingbird.
Part of me longed to dismiss this occurrence as a coincidence, but the juxtaposition wasn’t one I could readily ignore. I’ve always felt a pull to listen to the universe, especially when it is trying to push me to recognize some of truth or offer advice. What do I value? And am I spending enough time dedicating my time to what nourishes me? Paying attention to what keeps me out of of synch, I realized, is just as important as directing my gaze toward the non-negotiables in my life. What does this mean? Downtime, sleep, exercise, writing, reading, dinner with my family, meaningful conversations with friends, laughter and connecting with ideas and people who I adore is what I long for on a daily basis. When one of these essentials teeters off my list, I’ve probably said yes to an event or person who is creating noise. I only have myself to blame when this occurs.
When I hear myself say that every moment is precious, I don’t dismiss it as trite. It’s true. Sometimes the reminders come in the most unexpected ways.
Image: Hummingbird by Texas Eagle via Flickr.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Beautiful sentiments Rudri. The world needs more of your writing!
Estelle,
That means so much coming from you. Thanks for letting me know. xo
I love when the Universe sends messages, and so happy to hear that you were present enough to hear it. Thank you.
Jennifer,
I am always surprised when these chance encounters appear in my life – this message was one I couldn’t ignore and so yes, I am thankful that I had the awareness to appreciate it.
Beautiful awareness in this piece. The title pulled me in and I especially enjoyed the read.
Thanks, Bonnie. It’s a moment that definitely made me pause and one that I will likely not forget. I am grateful the piece resonated with you.
“Between a hearse and a hummingbird”…the universe sure knows how to make us pay attention!
Agreed, Susan. It pulled me out of my daze.
Beautiful as always. Noise is persistent and it takes even more persistence –and wisdom–to drown it out. Great reminder. Thanks Rudri!
Joy,
Yes, the persistent part of noise is the most difficult to overcome. It requires special discipline to pull back and say no and make room for quiet. I am glad you enjoyed the piece. Thank you!
I can relate to this so keenly, Rudri. I really need to take more walks (perhaps even a run, ha) to get away from the noise. And I am trying to be mindful of how much I let in, but it’s hard, especially with children. There’s always another activity or event. The title of this post reads like poetry to me. Here’s to finding more hummingbird moments.
Dana,
I’ve accepted allowing a certain amount of noise in my life – it’s inevitable with raising my daughter, societal obligations and daily life. The key, I think, is reverting back to the quiet with a quicker turn around. That’s where I seem to struggle. I hope you get a chance to take more walks in the future. Interacting with nature is especially helpful in practicing mindfulness.
I just wrote similar sentiments in my journal. Life is too short not to say yes to the people we love most and the things that nourish our soul. Lovely piece. Xox
Glad to know your thinking of the same thread, Ayala. It is so vital to return to the quiet and keep reminding ourselves that it is important for our personal clarity.
Wow. I can just see and feel that… literally and figuratively. I love hummingbirds very much, on a side note.
I have started doing winter walks to clear my head from the noises.
Tamara,
So glad to hear walks are becoming a part of your routine. It’s a great way to reconnect, get fresh air and contemplate. Yes, hummingbirds are exceptionally beautiful and I feel a rush of luck every time I spot one outdoors.