My daughter is turning nine in a few weeks. I am not ready.
I watch her teeter on the tightrope. Some days she seems like such an adult: emptying the dishwasher, asking questions about God and life, organizing and cleaning her room without prompts and engaging in conversations that shows flickers of adulthood.
There are moments, though, that she turns her head toward wonder again. We will bake cookies for Santa and place them on a decorated dish by the door. In the past few weeks, she’s asked a dozen times about Santa and how he will enter our home. Today she woke up with a sore throat, but believed that Santa’s magic will make her feel better again. As she said this, she snuggled into my arms and held me tight.
I stayed with this feeling. Believing in wonder, magic and goodness. That is what she teaches me. As another holiday unfolds, I know in years to come, wonder will become a backstory for her. But for now, it threads through my days and for that I am grateful.
Happy Holidays to you and yours. May you experience wonder.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
“she turns her head toward wonder again”…I love this. What a lovely reminder for all of us, at any age, to turn toward wonder as the new year dawns. Beautiful post. Happy holidays, Rudri. xo
Wonder, indeed. Yes. May we all. xoxo
This is lovely and bittersweet knowing wonder will fade for our children, but maybe like us, if they have their own babies, they might relive the wonder through them. Until then, I’m grateful to know that almost nine still holds some sweetness and magic. My daughter is more than halfway to seven, and I am in denial.
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Dana
Perfect thing to focus on for her at that age– wonder. And perfect lesson for us to try to capture it for ourselves sometimes.
Yes….happy that for now it threads through your days .xoxo
I really hope that Santa’s magic did heal her sore throat! I remember being sick as a kid on Christmas, and wondering how that was even possible.
Happy holidays! They grow so fast!
<3
Welcome, Mia!
Thank you. Happy New Year. Looking forward to following your musings.
Wonder is a beautiful thing. I love seeing life through the eyes of a child!
Happy Holidays to you and yours Rudri! Hope you have something fun planned for your daughters birthday 🙂 Have a great one and take care! -Iva
What a beautiful girl! xo
Happy Holidays!!
I love that the holidays will bring this out in our children, and that in turn affects us. My son said this Christmas, “Deep down I don’t really believe there is a “Santa,” but believing in him makes Christmas more fun.” I’ve learned this year that this is not black or white, real or not, but it’s all up to us how we want to celebrate. We can keep the wonder if we choose to. I hope you are having a good holiday!