“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” – Eckhart Tolle
Struggling with my restless spirit is a permanent place in my personal ferris wheel. In this space, I’ve detailed my various attempts to meditate, attain that inner sanctum of “peace,” and fully embrace the alluding present moment. Entranced by the mantra of what’s next, my eyes tend to focus on the future. My tendency to make the future my puppet does not materialize. Instead, I find myself in the same place, running from one seat to the next in a familiar circle. It is an approach that leaves me rocking my head from one side to the next, unable to break the hypnotist’s spell.
But this season, something prevents me from running to the trappings of those old spokes. I think back to 2011 when I listened to words from Oprah’s last show where she poignantly stated, “Your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers… It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder…What I’ve gleamed is whispers are always messages.” In the last few months, my whispers tug at my heart enough to provide it with a jolt that force me to stop slouching and to sit and stand straight with proper posture.
What I have observed in my personal kaleidoscope is how life can change in an instant. It is an overused cliché, but aren’t these the places where truth is often contained? I know of mothers and fathers battling illness in the prime of their lives. The year before they were not faced with confronting their mortality. Last week in California, I experienced my first earthquake tremor. Having the earth move proved so disconcerting that the feeling lingered for a few days afterwards. This past week a friend and her husband experienced an accident where a car flew in the air and landed on their vehicle, nearly missing them by a few feet. Another friend spent 3 consecutive weeks in the hospital caring for her ailing daughter. All of these events occurred like dominoes falling in quick succession, one after another.
As a writer, I tend to find a glimpse of meaning in my observations and experiences and some might think that pattern is too intense. For me these flickers are whispers. I almost didn’t write this post, until I had a conversation with my Mom, who said, “Don’t wait. Whatever you want to do, do it now.”
The season of now. That is all there is.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
“The season of now.”
I love this, Rudri, and I understand what you’re feeling. I’m having a productive week, and I think that near miss car accident has something to do with it. I want to write, so I’m doing it now, while I’m still here.
Windy,
I am grateful that you and D were able to walk away. The image of that car landing near your windshield does create a sense of urgency, doesn’t it?
All these whispers fuel my need to write. Because I know if I put it off, I will regret it.
xoxo
The season of now. That is all there is.-that is so true. We can’t change the past, only learn from it. We can plan the future but we can’t control it and conform it to our wishes. The present is what we have to use all our senses to experience it for all its worth.
The future is a phantom until it arrives. More and more, I try to divorce myself from thinking about tomorrow and concentrate on what is happening at this very minute.
Yes, it is the season of now. Last week I heard of five deaths, all of which were young people and it makes one realize how fragile life is. The last few years I have contemplated on these things. The meaning of life…what we share of ourselves…what we leave in this world..so many things. Live today because that’s all that is promised.xo
I am so sorry, Ayala.
Your words reminded me of a passage I read in Joan Didion’s book, The Year of Magical Thinking, ““Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.”
Much love, my friend. xoxo
Oh my goodness, I hope your friends are alright.
We were in Boston last week and there was a cautionary evacuation at our hotel one night, after we had gotten into our pajamas and were getting ready for bed. While my husband and I understood it wasn’t a code red, we took for granted that this was huge for a child. My son was shaken up by the whole incident and a half week later he is still thinking and talking about it. The incident did give me pause and made me realize that anything can happen at any time, anywhere, and to any of us. Firefighters were on the scene that night and we were lucky nothing more came out of the incident but perhaps these things happen for a reason: to wake us up and to remind us not to take things for granted.
Cecilia,
It is those unexpected moments that also give me pause. In an ordinary instant, everything can change. That thought pushes me toward the now.
So glad all turned out well at the hotel and I understand why your son is still experiencing some residual fear.
Stopping by from SITS Sharefest and this very idea has been part of my theme in 2014. My word for myself this year is Intentional and I am being intentional about how I spend my time right now instead of just focusing on what may happen in the future.
Welcome Julie!
Intentional is a great word of the year. It encompasses so much and makes everything so purposeful, whether it is washing dishes or contemplating a life change.
It’s so hard to just live in the moment… I admire you for continuing to try! I’m trying too!