White wisps of floating clouds garnished the sky. Spring appeared in the corners. Bright green grass, red flowers projecting out of pine cones, and the sun tilted to cast the right amount of light. Down below, my little girl clung to the handle of her very first kite, one she labeled her tie-dyed rainbow. As she launched her new toy into the sky, she conversed with the kite, commanding it to go higher and higher. She maneuvered the string so that she could watch it float above the trees into the white of the clouds.
A few times she looked back and said, “Look, Momma. I am flying a kite. I am going to make it go way into the sky.” Her neck craned up as she twisted her body from one side to the other. As I watched my little girl, I sunk into my own giddiness. Many times, as a little girl, I loved flying kites in my neighborhood parks. I remember hoisting my red and silver striped kite in the air and wishing for it to go higher and higher into the sky.
Now I lingered in the background, a few feet behind my little girl, staring as what I experienced so many years ago. In that moment, the array of emotions darted into my heart. At once, I saw my past flicker and catch up to my present and I felt a swell of gratitude in those few minutes. Standing there, my instinct pushed toward hitting pause. I did not want this moment to pass. It held so much. Joy. Wonder. Light. Past. Now.
Her limbs kept dancing to the cadence of the kite’s momentum. With a swiftness I still grapple to understand, the one emotion that kept spilling around me presented itself with such clarity – our ability to experience an undiminished capacity to love. There are days when I carry the pounds of not being enough, not doing enough, not being present enough.
But in this singular moment, everything was as it should be.