I blinked and it happened.
Today our daughter turns eight. She is celebrating her golden birthday.
Oh my dear girl, how did you turn eight? When I held you for the first time, your body snuggled on my chest. I felt your breath and the steady beat of your heart next to mine. I remember those early moments. The idea of mothering you thrilled and terrified me. As your eyes opened and closed, mine shed tears at the gravity of our meeting for the first time.
Your entry into my universe changed me forever. I’ve never envisioned I’d experience a love like yours. The one that is filled with hugs, kisses, and a million “I love you, Momma’s” throughout the day. Even if I yell or reprimand you, your forgiveness flows like a waterfall.
We are here. Now. 2,920 days later. These are the days of roller skates, Little Ponies, and Rainbow loom. You still believe in the magic of Santa and the Tooth Fairy. You enjoy playing Twister, laughing every time that your body topples to the ground. You sneak into your room and I hear you play “Teacher” and how you are instructing your “students” on what to do. You’ve amassed a number of school supplies, like erasers, folders, pens, and worksheets that you’ve kept from your own folder in order to properly educate the children in your classroom. This particular activity always makes me laugh because it reveals that you are your Momma’s daughter. There were many occasions when I played teacher in my room too.
There are days that I worry so much about your sensitive nature. You still cry with angst at the slightest raised voice and criticism. This penchant for crying reveals your deeper and intense nature. As much as you love to laugh and enjoy the revelry of being a little girl, some of your questions border on intense for your age. The other day you asked me how to decide which side to take when family members are fighting. I did not have a clear-cut answer to a question that I still am trying to figure out myself. You ask about your grandfather that has passed and you say a prayer every night for your classmate who lost her mother last year. The other day you announced that you did not intend to marry because you wanted to live with momma and daddy forever. You innocently posed the question to your father on what he would do when he became a Grandpa, a question that struck me with joy and sadness about the anticipation of time passing.
Your relationship with your Daddy is one of fun and friendship. I watched as you two played basketball on the court. Your lanky body tried to out maneuver your Daddy and then as soon as you hit a basket, you announced, “I made it.” Still even after 8 years, you run to the door when you hear your Daddy’s car pull in. You’ve learned to greet him with a special handshake that only the two of you share.
I know that in a few years the context of our conversations will change. As much as you love me now in this moment, you may not appreciate the advice I give you in the future. I already see evidence of your free will. Instead of accepting anything at face value, you ask why. When I try to give you an explanation, you respond with, “I don’t really get that.” This statement comforts me. It signifies that you aren’t completely grown-up, but are moving toward becoming a girl who will be asking questions that I cannot answer.
You are turning eight and the shock is all mine. There is so much you’ve taught me about love, forgiveness, wonder and worshipping the present moment.
Happy Happy Birthday My One and Only Dear Little Girl. I love you forever.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!
Thanks for the birthday wish, Susan. I appreciate it! xoxo
Happy Birthday to your daughter Rudri! 🙂 What a great milestone for the both of you. Have a wonderful day! -Iva
Iva,
I appreciate the birthday wish for my daughter. Our day was spent with laughter and birthday cheer. Thanks so much for taking time to offer your wishes to her.
Rudri, you’ve encapsulated so sweetly the comings and goings of an 8 year old, physically, intellectually and spiritually. Being an empty nest mom now, I can tell you the relationship will indeed change, but it enrichens. I have two grown daughters; one a mother herself and one still single and living an adventurous life. I was recently with my daughter in arizona who had twins, to help her because she also has a 2 1/2 year old. It was lovely and so familially fulfilling. When it was close to the time I had to leave, my other daughter arrived to stay for a month to help her too, and I overheard the one say to her sister, “It’s been so nice to have Mom here, not just for all the help she’s given, but to have her here, to talk to her, to listen to her. She is the voice of reason. She’s let me know it will be okay. She makes me feel strong. And (& this was the best part for me) to watch her with the babies and have her in baking in the kitchen reminds me of how she was when we were little – and I feel like her little girl again.” Children – they are always a gift.
Happy birthday to your golden girl!
Barbara,
What a wonderful gift to hear your daughters conversing about you and the love that emanates from their words. I am certain that was a teary-eyed and proud moment for you. Thanks for sharing that personal moment.
I appreciate your birthday wishes for my golden girl.
Eight! Wow! Happy birthday to your dear girl, and even though she seems so much older than my girls, I know I will be writing this same post one day, in a blink of an eye. Such precious, fleeting years…
Yes, Justine. It is the biggest cliche of all that time moves so fast, but it feels like I changed diapers one minute and now I am watching her roller-skate around the house. The metaphor of her flying around with her new set of “wheels” does not escape my mind.
Thanks for taking time to wish her. It means so much. xoxo
I loved reading this post. Happy birthday to one awesome girl who is growing up way too fast!
Thanks, Sunita. I still remember when you came to visit her at the hospital. We’ve definitely come a long way from those days. She appreciates the wishes and the June B. Jones books.
xoxo
I love this: “You are turning eight and the shock is all mine. There is so much you’ve taught me about love, forgiveness, wonder and worshipping the present moment.” I’ve often felt that too, and I had written something similar in my journal when my son was 5 and scared to get older. Their getting older will be the most natural thing to them and the biggest shock to us.
Happy birthday to your wonderful daughter and to you, too, mom. Eight is amazing but I totally, totally understand all that you are feeling today.
Cecilia,
I assume that as my daughter gets older there will be numerous aftershocks of watching time move forward. She’s developing into not just a girl, but one with dreams, opinions, and stances about different observations and interactions. It’s a pleasure to witness, but of course, there is also that accompanying pang of sorrow that says: This moment that has just passed will never come again.
Thanks for the wishes, Cecilia. xoxo
Happy Birthday to your sweet and beautiful girl ! This love letter to her will be something that she will always treasure. Enjoy every minute with her. xoxo
Thanks, Ayala. I am so glad that I have this opportunity to write to her on all her birthdays. Years from now, I hope to read these with her and reflect on all her childhood moments together. xoxo
Happy birthday to your golden girl! What a lovely tribute this is to your special girl. As our lives become more digital, I’m becoming more persuaded of the critical importance of recording in words exactly who our kids are at each age. What a gift you’ve given your daughter – the chance to read this portrait of who she was at age eight.
I agree, Kristen. After almost 5 years of blogging, I never anticipated how much this space is not only a part of me, but of my family as well.
Thanks so much for taking the time to wish my golden girl a Happy Birthday. xoxo
Happy Birthday to your daughter. I hope she has a good one!
Thanks, Amber. Her birthday turned into a week long celebration. Filled with laughter, she enjoyed every moment of it.
Happy birthday beautiful girl! Your mama sure loves you!
Thanks for the birthday wishes, Tiffany. I appreciate it.