It started years ago. The hands of my Mickey Mouse watch moved toward 7:30 p.m. My father and I walked into a local Service Merchandise in Richardson, Texas and he bought me my first watch. When I “met” my new watch, I fell in love with time. It isn’t a coincidence that I gravitate toward objects that measure time: calendars, hourglass, and memorializing in this space what time means. I always remember that 2007 New Year’s Eve spent with my father in his hospital room. The tick of the second hand on my watch clicked loud almost like time was inside a megaphone. Dick Clark made its presence on the television, while I made a bed out of the hard floor and two blankets. The hours moved toward 2008, but nothing changed for my father. We were still in the hospital room. When the ball dropped, we didn’t watch. Instead, my father fell asleep, and I tried to muffle my tears in the hollow room.
Every New Year’s Eve this memory lingers. My relationships with time is complicated. I love it. I hate it. I waste it. I cherish it. I still firmly believe every minute is a passage, even when time isn’t translating into a new year.
Today is January 1, 2014. It “marks” beginnings, fresh slates, and the metaphorical empty canvas. Many will commit to making resolutions, but this path seldom works for me. As I reflect on another new year, I gravitate toward what I know to be true. These are things that I find it important to reflect on to keep my composure regardless of time.
Running is my meditation. I hope one day to embrace traditional forms of meditation, but for now, if I fail to run, I lose my sanity.
Crisis changes you. You hold on to the beginnings and endings and all the in-between moments. And it makes the passage of time feel like claps of thunder that are too loud.
You have to find your tribe. Those people that understand you even when you are not at your best. The ones that will pick you up in grief, laugh with you, and tell you what you may not want to hear.
We are here to love. This may sound like the cliche that keeps repeating itself, but this is what connects all of us. Next time really pay attention when you embrace your spouse or your kids. Feel it when you laugh with a friend or comfort a loved one. It is why we are here.
Engage in wonder. Take a moment to watch the sunset or glance at the fireflies or pay attention to your breath.
As much as we all may forget, the present is what we have.
Happy 2014. My wish is for you to find what you know to be true.