I took a picture of this unknown bride walking near a white bus on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. With her long white veil grazing the sidewalk her blonde hair stayed perfect as the wind swayed around her. The bottom of her dress looked like small white waves that could not be contained. She stands in the light, while the shadow watches from behind.
Wondering about her story, I thought about her beginning. What are the thoughts running in her head? Does she have cold feet? How long has she waited for this day? Did she announce her marriage in the society pages? Is her wedding in a bustling park or in a church?
Someone else’s story becomes powerful when it resonates with you. This brief, unexpected flash took me back to a late June morning almost thirteen years ago. On the day I got married, it rained hard in the early morning hours. But by wedding time, the clouds disappeared, the sun setting the rhythm of a new beginning. As a traditional Indian bride, there was no veil, strapless wedding dress, or long train. My sari was a mixture of shimmery white with a red border, depicting the acceptable colors of an Indian dulhan. My hair did not flow, but was clasped in a tight bun, a hundred bobby pins in my head made me feel like a porcupine. On my wedding day, a swirl of emotions churned in my stomach. Nervousness, excitement and happiness fluttered liked flies around me.
On the day you get married, there is so much you think you know, but so much of it is a mystery. In loving and living with someone else, you learn everyday about the small and big pieces, that make you, him, and the marriage. How you navigate that terrain is something you are not allowed to know on the day of your marriage.
As in the picture, you learn, that there is so much light, dark, and grey.
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Truer words were never spoken. The excitement of the wedding day is just that. Marriage takes so much more – compromise, forgiveness, and love. It is truly a commitment to overlook the flaws in one another and appreciate the relationship with gratitude and grace. There are times that are light, dark and grey.
You must have been such a beautiful bride. I love tradition. Navigating the mysterious terrain that you can’t know on your wedding day! is so brilliant. You are such a beautiful writer.
I broke out in hives on my wedding day. It was the 70’s and I let my mother convince me to wear an ugly hat (it was the trend – tradition was out of fashion). My husband showed up late (he denies it). It has been 33 years and I feel so fortunate and blessed to be spending my life with him.
Robin (2nd blog – you are one of four people that I am telling – and anyone who reads this)
So true! I will be celebrating my 22nd anniversary next month!
Marriage is a life school all on its own. Almost 31 years here, and as you say we’ve experienced the light, dark, and grey…and its worth all we’ve put into it.
True..marriage is all that . Hopefully we grow together and we find in our beloved all the great things that made us fall inlove with them to be true. 🙂
Marriage is an abundance of riches, shared moments of deep understanding, thinking the same thing at the same time, laughing so hard at something your spouse did or said, learning to accept each other’s shortcomings, feeling your spouse really “gets” you, being best friends, all stitched together with the ordinary moments, the irksome habits, the boring in-between
hours, but on your wedding day, you can’t imagine this, because it is treasure to be discovered. Loved this post.
Perfect analogy with the light, grey and dark.
I read this last week and didn’t have a chance to respond. I saw your post right around our 12 year anniversary, and it really resonated with me because now whenever I look at young couples getting married, I marvel at how excited they feel for this DAY, when what they are embarking on is a lifelong journey that is going to be about so much more than how the bride’s hair or gown looks. Not to be cynical, but there is so much naivete on that wedding day. The wedding really is the first, small step. And what a courageous step it is…in some ways maybe braver than the day we become parents.