“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” Erma Bombeck
I know it will never completely go away. Some days I accept this. I find peace, like the sleeping little girl, eyes closed, dreaming about nothing and everything. Other days, I struggle. Oh, how I climb the thousand ladders of what if’s that spiral out of control, one lopsided thought at a time.
Stop. I write. Stop. I say to myself. This is pointless. But I still continue to battle an invisible opponent I created.
Natural-born worrier. That is me.
Yesterday when I read this quote by Erma Bombeck, it slapped me in the face. Contemplating all of the wasted time I’ve spent worrying about all those things I thought would happen. Guess what? These hypotheticals never materialized.
Ms. Bombeck is right. Worrying steals from living. But yet, like an addict, I go back. I mull the mundane and rare. I worry when I will get that phone call or that news that changes everything. I have experienced 3 life changing, direction turning, what is the point of all these events. But the irony? These were 3 instances I NEVER worried about.
You know what? You cannot worry away what will happen. Call it fate, God, chaos theory, or coincidence. What is meant to pierce your gut, will. What is meant to take you by surprise, will. Fairy tales are not real life. Accepting this in the abstract is comforting. Living it is liberating. We all experience those moments, where we wonder, “How am I going to get through this?” By enduring it, we get through. You. Me. All of us. We move forward, even if it feels a little backward.
My realization? As much as I know worrying will get me nowhere, it is an old friend, one that offers comfort, but also makes me yell at the top of my lungs. Like that slight creak in the old rocking chair, it will always be a part of me.
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Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
A simple but powerful quote, one I’ve always taken to heart. Sometimes we can’t help it, but in truth those biggest events were not ones we worried about…life happens and there is nothing we can do about fate may as well enjoy the ride.
A great quote but I don’t think we can help it…. Maybe some of the time but not all the time.
Worry and fear. Worry and fear. Both such a waste of energy, but like you said, both keep rearing their heads in our hearts and psyche, don’t they? I think it was Mark Twain (?) who said 90% of the things we worry about never come to pass. I’m “worried” he might be right. Okay, that was a bit tongue in cheek.
Meaningful reflection, Rudri — thanks so much!
I also think worry is like holding a grudge. Both take time and energy away from more productive behavior.
A coincidence, but I have been pondering this connection since I read a passage and heard a sermon in Church on Sunday . . .
Now, thinking and problem-solving. . . That is a whole other avenue down a similar path.
Trish
Visiting from SITS! I am a worrier too…but you’re right, you can’t worry about what will happen. It will drive you crazy otherwise! I try to keep it in check, but sometimes it creeps in. Thanks for the reminder!
That is a great quote. I also like the one that says “worry just makes you suffer twice”. True, right?
We’re so alike 😉 This is me too. Worrying is my way of trying to control the unknowable. It’s as if I can at least be prepared if I worry about all the possibilities. But like you said it depletes our energy and enjoyment in life…and we only get to live once. I am working on not wasting these precious years.