This past Saturday night, we attended an engagement party for my little sister and her fiance. Since our daughter has learned that her aunt (affectionately called Masi in the Indian language) is getting married, she breaks down in raindrop size tears. She tells me, “Masi is getting married so she won’t be my Masi anymore.” I try to calm her down and tell her that her aunt will always be her aunt, but part of me knows that she will experience a new life with her fiance and his family.
When my daughter cries, my mom and I feel it. And I am certain that my father would feel it too. We are letting go. And it is a bittersweet feeling. Because my sister and I have a nine year age difference, my role is not only sister, but a sometimes mother.
So many of my memories of my childhood have my sister in them. I reminisce about dancing with her in Indian dance competitions, eating ice cream at Braums, and yelling at her when she wanted to hang out with me and my friends. I remember dancing with her to the New Kids on the Block and lip-synching to Celine Dion songs. She is my little sister and in the last five years, I’ve realized she is her own woman with a compassionate heart and free-spirit. We’ve shared celebrations and sadness. We tag teamed the care of my father when he was sick, and to this day, I believe she did far more for him with a grace that I don’t think she realizes. Her compassion is something I think she underestimates, but it is real and genuine.
We are all slowly letting go. Her time will be divided between her childhood family and her new family. She is my kid sister, but she is all grown up. I hope that her life with her fiance is filled with good unexpected surprises. I am raising my virtual glass to my sister. I love you and Congratulations on your engagement. xoxo Rudri
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
Congratulations to Masi. I wish her a wonderful and happy life with her future husband. I wish all of you the best. xoxo
Thanks for your well wishes. My family appreciates it. xoxo
Congratulations to your sister. I must say, having a sister also, we have only grown closer of the years – our lives becoming similar as we raise our families. I hope you have what I have in my sister and that is someone who will be with me (and my children) for life. Beautiful.
Thanks so much for those heartfelt words Cathy. I appreciate them. As the years pass by, I’ve noticed what our silence carries. She know the good, bad and every transition I’ve faced. And for that I am grateful
Congrats to your beautiful sister. I wish her much love and happiness.
Thanks Suzicate. Always a pleasure to see your comments in this space.
Just beautiful!
Thanks Ker! xoxo ya.
I’m sure it will be hard to change but I’m so happy for her!!
Thanks Tiffany. Every transition brings its adjustments, but it also adds character and color to our lives. I appreciate your well wishes.
There is something magical about sisters. Congrats to yours and this is a beautiful toast to her!
Thanks Alisa. I agree that there is some element to the sister relationship that can’t be described. Appreciate your well wishes. Thank you.
Congrats to your sister. Your tribute to your sister here reminds me of one of the characters and how she feels about her sister in Alice Hoffman’s “The Dovekeepers”. If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend it.
Letting go is never easy but at least it’s a joyous occasion that marks the beginning of something wonderful for her.
Justine,
Thanks for your wishes. I will definitely check out the Dovekeepers.
You are right. Letting go is so so hard, but for my sister the adventure is just beginning and for that I am incredibly grateful.
Congratulations to your sister. And thank you for writing about this. We often think of letting go as something that mothers must do with their children, but you don’t really hear about siblings letting go. I remember having what I thought was an odd conversation with my mother and brother after I had gotten married; things that they said revealed to me that they were almost sad, as if I had abandoned them. I remember thinking how strange it was that they weren’t feeling purely happy for me…and I had a similar experience with one of my closest girlfriends as well. I’m realizing that anyone who loves you can and will sense loss whenever you move on or move to something new. But it sounds like you are ready to embrace your new family and I am sure that you and your sister’s relationship will grow even more as she comes to share a similar family structure as you.
Thanks Cecila for your thoughtful comment. Initially when I found out my sister was getting married, I felt overwhelmed, sensing that there were changes in store for her and that now she would be a part of another family. I am so incredibly happy for her, but I do feel a sense of loss. As she embarks on this terrain, I am certain that our relationship will flourish.
I appreciate your well wishes. Thanks so much.