On September 20th, I turn 38. In a conversation with my husband, I confessed that the older I grow, the less I know. Part of me keeps wondering, when I will be wise about my choices and reactions. On most days, I am filled with a multitude of emotions, the swing moving from happiness to regret to sadness to sheer joy. Much of this resembles the pendulum of life and the unexpected joys and sadness that stream from it.
Despite my own uncertainty, my birthday always makes me feel grateful for life, family and good friends. In the last few years, I’ve tried to really focus on the present and how fulfilling it can be. I am constantly looking, but not necessarily really seeing what messages the universe attempts to send me. But I am trying. Everyday.
As trite as it may sound, everyday you are able to get up and move about your routine is a great day. Laughing with your spouse, hugging your child and drinking that cup of coffee signifies you are still in it and able to participate in life. I believe the older I get, I am acutely aware of how grateful I am for small things. I don’t always need grand celebrations or pomp and circumstance, but the awareness that in this moment, life is good.
The moment it turns the other way becomes the day when it isn’t your birthday anymore.