Last night I wasn’t in a great mood. My mind swirled with thoughts of the day’s events and a large part of me was really irritated. I admit I didn’t have anything substantial to be upset about, but still felt the need to feel sorry for myself. I’m a restless spirit that is always thinking. And I’m quite impatient with myself. If things channel out of the regular course, my spirit feels bruised.
I had one of those moments where a few words led to another with my husband which led to an argument. I know. Not a perfect way to spend Valentine’s Day Eve. We both went to sleep, my mind still churning on the words that were exchanged. In the morning, my husband left for work and gave me a kiss goodbye. I still carried my ill mood from last night over into the morning, clearly unable to let go of my feelings. The morning progressed, my mind trying to get my daughter ready for school and getting that much needed coffee for myself. As I entered into the kitchen, my husband had two Valentine Day cards propped up on the kitchen table, one for me and my daughter. At that point, I still wasn’t ready to embrace a better attitude about things.
The morning carried on as usual with a drop off at my daughter’s school and running errands. In between all of the routine, I did speak with my husband on the telephone. I tried to explain my behavior and why I felt justified in my anger. As I was talking, I realized I was wrong. I overreacted last night and I apologized. All was right in the marriage world again.
I realized that today will be my seventeenth Valentine’s with my husband. I still believe it is just a commercial holiday, a chance for florists, jewelers, and Hallmark to make some really easy cash. I’m content and happy spending the day with my loved ones, just having the priviliege of participating in life. I’m reminded, though, why I married my husband. He always has a way of elevating and enriching my life in unexpected ways. As I talked with him today, he directed me to watch Neil Pasricha’s TED Talk on The Three A’s of Awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajKMkIXN1eg. I recommend you watch it.
After watching this video, I understood last night’s mood stemmed from wallowing in the wrong attitude. I think we all have those moments where we know we need to revise our attitude, but aren’t quite certain how to do it. It helps having someone to remind you. I thank my husband for giving me that gift.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.
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What is your view of Valentine’s Day? Do you celebrate it? How do you think attitude makes a difference in your life? Do you believe it is something you have the discipline to control? Or do you need reminders?
Image by thepinkpeppercorn
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
This is a great video, Rudri. Thanks for sharing. I didn’t even know about the website until I watched this clip. I think we should all add to these awesome things on our own blogs – sometimes we all need reminders like that to keep us going on cloudy days. Looks like yours come in the form of your husband. Even better I think 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours too.
Nothing says “love” at our house like half-off flowers delivered on February 15. We’re romantic and practical!
And I, too, often carry over bad feelings from an argument the night before. It takes me a while to process exactly what happened and why I felt the way I did before I can really accept it and explain it. Luckily, after 13 Valentine’s Days together, he knows it’s best to let me simmer for a while. That kind of acceptance is surely love, too, though I do recognize that my way is impossibly imperfect and frequently frustrating. (I didn’t even try for that alliteration!)
Happy Heart Day to you and your family, Rudri!
wow, i think this is one of the best posts you have had, and that video is amazing!!! changed my perspective on life a little…great post!!
I have a really tough time pulling my head out of a situation to gain some clarity and perspective. I used to be quick to fight and argue, but now I step back and try to sift through the emotion. Under every fight is a hurt. I try to find the hurt, share it, and find a way to move forward.
And that, folks, is marriage in a nutshell!
You always make me think, Rudri! I’m glad you were able to step back and sift through your feelings without coloring things with anger–it’s something I struggle with, too.
That video? *Exactly*! Coincidentally, it ties in with my comments on your ‘ambiguity’ post. Life is an adventure. You already know that I’ve had a great big wallop of bad luck thrown at me and people used to ask me, when I was rendered hemiplegic and wheelchair-bound at age 46, how could I possibly be so cheerful. My answer was: ‘What’s the alternative? Wallow and be miserable? Against the odds, I’m here. I’m alive.’
Life really is all about recognising the positives, embracing the world around us, relaxing into who we are and not worrying about who we think we *should* be and grabbing, with open arms, every new and exciting opportunity that comes our way.
You have a sweet, loving and wise husband there.
If attitude isn’t everything, it’s damn close. I spend lots of time whipping mine back into reasonable, maybe even happy shape.
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in a big way, but we make a non-Hallmark-y nod to its celebration of love. And that gives me a good attitude. 🙂
Thanks for sharing the great video. It reminded me of holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s quote: Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
I do believe that attitude is everything, yet I find it very hard to practice changing mine.
I discovered Neil’s blog through other blogs. It always makes me smile.
It’s a wonderful thing to have a spouse who not only knows and loves us but can call us out to take a look at ourselves when needed…that is realtionship.