My daughter must ask a thousand questions a day. She gazes at the Christmas lights on the rooftops asking, “Momma, how did they get up there?” Other questions revolve around the ordinary, “When is Daddy coming home? When are we going on our playdate? Will you do two ponytails in my hair?”
Most of the time her questions are ones that I can answer.
But on occasion, she will slap me back into life. Last week, she asked, “Why won’t God let my Grandfather come to visit me? I miss him alot.”
The unanswered questions, the ones that don’t have automatic answers, fuel my own desire to consider what exists beyond me. As a twenty-something, I remember writing down 100 questions that I’d like answered. Questions like “What is man’s place in the Universe? What is my purpose? Is fate predetermined? Can personal will overcome destiny?” These musings, I realize, are wholly unanswerable. But it is an exercise that can provide a pathway to reflect and to understand our place beyond our immediate surroundings.
My daughter’s constant questioning reminded me of a time when I allowed myself to ponder questions of consequence. As a thirtysomething, I’m reminded of our finite existence in the world. In the last month, I’ve learned of one relative who is battling late stage gastric cancer, while another friend, is battling a very aggresive breast cancer. I know of a three year old little girl who is fighting leukemia and who has spent most of her her life in the hospital. I’ve attended two funerals this year of young people who decided to take their own lives.
Life is twinged with fringes of death. Because of my father’s passing and the circumstances in other’s lives, my awareness of this reality is heightened.
I don’t want answers to all 100 questions anymore.
My one question would be this : “What happens after death?”
_______________________________________________________________________________
If you could have one question answered what would it be ?
Image by Horia Varlan
Welcome! I am a lawyer turned freelance writer, essayist, and editor. On staff at Literary Mama and the co-founder and co-editor of the literary journal, The Sunlight Press, my essays and reported work have appeared in The Washington Post, The Lily, Saveur, Civil Eats, Brain, Child, ESPN and elsewhere. I am currently at work on a memoir on grief and culture and how it provides perspective on life’s ordinary graces. I invite you to appreciate the ordinary with me. I hope my daily practice of seeing the magic in the mundane helps you celebrate and find more of these moments in your life too.
A thoughtful post, Rudri. It can all be gone so quickly. In the two weeks while I was on vacation recently, a friend I was hanging out with the night before I left discovered he has brain cancer and immediately had surgery. We don’t know how much time he has. All we know is he’s here now…
My one question would be “How can I make sure my kids have wonderful lives?”
I guess that one’s not entirely answerable, either. There’s only so much we have control over.
A number of artists who I respect have suggested that great art is more about questions than answers… creative process searching honestly in the realm of what is not known. When faced with tragedy, perhaps my question is: how can we find the courage to love no matter what?
Sending healing wishes for all who are facing challenges, particularly those mentioned in this post and comments. Namaste
Your question is a great question! I think I know what my personal “one” question is and it is “why” as it has always been; why for behaviors that rippled through a lifetime, why for the words that won’t ever lose their sting.
We of the “why’s” are perpetually questioning, and for your child’s questions there is the pleasure of the discovering mind and the affirmation of a new generation, and maybe realizing that asking the questions is at least as important as receiving the answers, some of us can be content with that. At least, from our children.
There is no way I can pick just one question. But one of my favorites? “What is self?” Apparently, I asked my Dad this when we were on an airplane when I was seven or eight. Love that I asked such a big question as such a little girl.
I expect I’ll have to think about this for a long, long time before I know what my answer – my question – would be. When it comes to the big, unanswerable questions, I’m generally satisfied by the mystery. But in the past few years I’ve lost two people that I miss every single day. I long for their presence. I want to hear them, and I want them to see me. So I suppose my question would be the same as yours – but I’m a bit afraid of the answer, so I find comfort in hope and imagination.
Mine would be…what will happen to Olivia if I’m not here? Same question as yours, I guess.
My question was the same as Cheryl’s! My biggest wish is for my kids to be happy and to know they are loved, and I worry constantly about how to convey this to them.
My question is the exact same as yours, Rudri. Every day, something reminds me that I don’t know the answer. But, like Leslie, I’m afraid of knowing it.
I think my quesstion is the same as your, Rudri…and when the answer comes we really won’t won’t to know.
A very thoughtful post . Your daughter is a little angel whose sweet innocent questions makes you ponder on questions whose answers I must say are really tough to get. I think if I get a chance to have the answer of that 1 question it would be something like – ‘ Was I born before ? ‘
Actually am not very inquisitive to know the answer because this life has got enough complications which takes all of my time ! I am contended with life .
Here’s a fun test hope you find it interesting!
Do You Have Psychic Powers? – Are you a mind-reader? Can you predict the future?
http://3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/psychic-intuitions/psychic-intuitions_instructions.asp
I think it’s wonderful that your daughter feels safe enough to ask you all those questions, all the time. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by my daughters’ ability to ask without ceasing; it’s like being the target in a firing range. But knowing what’s in their heads is such a gift. The way they process and what’s important. And I think it’s equally as important for them to hear me tell them, “I don’t know, Baby.” Sometimes we figure it out together, and other times we accept together that we won’t always know all of the answers. And that it’s okay.
Might I suggest this website for your answers to life after death? http://www.thetruthproject.org/
What does it say about a person if she doesn’t have any questions? I don’t know that I’d want answers to any of these. I’m so sorry to hear about all the death lingering in your life right now.