My husband and I are the proud parents of one daughter. I must have missed the memo, but for some reason having only one daughter has become problematic. In social settings, I will introduce my family and there is that one person, who will raise his or her brow, whisper with a little noticeable edge of scorn and say “You have only the one.” I don’t know exactly what that means, but I don’t like the way it sounds. It sounds like a judgment. Other mothers are more blunt, and have asked the question, “So you don’t want another one?” Some have even questioned whether I want a backup to my only child, like she was a computer disk or a zippy drive. I don’t know how to respond to the only child question because it is a personal decision if a couple decides to have one or more children or none at all.
To be quite honest, at this current moment, we are happy with one. Raising one child is difficult and it doesn’t make me less of a parent because I don’t have a brood of two or nineteen. People are quick to judge, though, unless it fits their scheme of how they think other people should live. I confess that I been guilty of it myself sometimes. I look at couples who have been married for a long time and have wondered why they don’t have children. It’s exactly the same judgment others are making on me when they realize I only have one daughter and wonder why I don’t have two. The point is you don’t become less of a person because you don’t have any children or have one and you don’t become a better person because you decided to have more than one.
For us, it is a blessing, to have one. She is a well adjusted child who plays with her classmates, is sweet when she wants to be, and throws the typical tantrums that any other child throws. She is one, but she is normal. In my mind, having one child isn’t wrong. It is something that each couple has to evaluate and find out what works for them. In our life, one works. It doesn’t mean in the future, two isn’t a possibility, but for now I will embrace my one, and make no apologies.